stop giving a fuck

Feel like screaming….a lot….very very loudly for a long time….

cannot believe how much shit you put me through, cannot believe i care about anything you do anymore…cannot believe you are so twisted….

leave me the hell alone, don’t speak to me again, don’t see me again….just let me be…i wish, but i know that cannot happen…

this goal is gonna be here for a long time, cos right now i am sooooo angry with you….what sort of sick twisted person tells me they are dying of cancer…and is lying bout it…especially when they know my Mum died of cancer, cos they were there…

i have never hated anyone the way i hate you right now, and i don’t want to waste my time feeling like this….so i’m going to shower, get dressed…and go spend time with people that REALLY care about me and won’t fuck with my head….:(

arrrggghhh arrggghhhh arrgggghhhhh SCREAM…..:(

you lie…and now i know you lie…

you’re not dying, you just pretended you were to fuck with my head…you have a condition, but you’re not going to die…HAH…you tell my mates stuff like that, they do pass it on to me you know, they also know a line of bs when they hear it….you TOLD them you were getting better, you just need a check up every week, you have a specialised medical condition…but you told ME you have colon cancer…you told the other mate of ours, who also believes anything you tell him, that you were going to die, and he told me….:(

grrrrr….GRRRR…right now, if it was worth dignifying your bs with anything, i feel like killing you myself…months and months and MONTHS of stressing out worrying bout you, how you told my mate you only have three months to live…worrying bout you having cancer, dying, leaving our kids without a Daddy…

you don’t know how lucky you are we have 4 kids together…it’s what saves me from going psychobitch on your annoying arse….:|

i’m trying very very hard to do everything for our kids, but i’m really starting to hate you right now….:|...i don’t want to hate, it’s far too much negative energy…

but HOW THE HELL COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????? :’(

No talking to him before i talk to my lawyer first.

No emailing him before i talk to my lawyer first.

This crap has gone on long enough….two can play at this game.

The lack of respect is staggering…lucky i’m used to it and it doesn’t surprise me a bit…you send me a patronising email, i sweat and stress for a week about how to respond, whether or not to let my lawyer know bout it….then find out through a mutual mate that you ALREADY sent it to YOUR lawyer….wtf????

No you are NOT having our kids…except for when you are SUPPOSED to have them….no i am NOT going to live in your house…no, i am NOT going to live at your mothers house…screw it, i will use my savings and RENT…”stability for our kids” my ARSE, seeing their Mother healthy, happy, in a job and in her own place would be great stability for them…so why don’t you make THAT happen by doing THE RIGHT THING???? you bludy control freak…you fucked up, now you get to pay the price….just like we all do…

and btw, WHY am i still supposed to feel sorry for you again??? awwwww…..so you’ve had a rough year, you have been in “a poor state” but you “didn’t intentionally do anything to hurt me”...saith your lawyer…quote unquote…

i repeat…AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…not my problem…in case you wondered, my year hasn’t been so hot either, but that isn’t YOUR problem…

grow up, be a bloody man, and do the decent thing….given you enough chances, been “nice” for far too long…now you’ve pissed me off enough to get hard….time to stop throwing shit at me cos i FINALLY, FINALLY feel like i don’t care enough about you anymore, you care enough about you for all of us put together….

Good luck, you are going to need it….as far as i am concerned, you will ALWAYS get to see our kids….and that’s it…you are dead to me and can go to hell…

definitely time to stop giving a fuck about him and all his bs….

no i am NOT gonna move into your house if i cannot find my own place, to look after the kids….week about…or go live on YOUR block of land….

yeah they need stability but SO DO I….:(

wtf #is WRONG WITH YOU…we are not together anymore!!!#

leave me the hell alone and let me get on with it…:(

I fall apart when your around
When you’re here, I’m nowhere
I can’t pretend that I’m not down
I show it I know it
I’ve been a fool – more than once, more than twice
I’m gonna move to a new town where the people are nice

I hope I never, I hope I never have to sigh again
I hope I never, I hope I never have to cry again
I still want to beam and smile yah
Happiness is back in style yeah
I hope I never, I hope I never have to see you again
Again, oh oh oh oh

It should be possible I know
To see you without stress
But I can see I’ll have to go
I’m changing my address
My urge to cry I have failed to conceal
Life – it’s no fun when your hunted by the things that you feel

I hope I never, I hope I never have to sigh again
I hope I never, I hope I never have to cry again
I’m for living while you can
I’m an optimistic man
I hope I never, I hope I never have to see you again
Again, oh oh oh oh…

I hope I never
I hope I never
I hope I never, never, never…

I hope I never, I hope I never have to see you again

Again.

stop crying dam you

things not to give a fuck about:

the ex
the past
death
dying
how i feel

why do i care even…

got enough shit on my own plate without getting worked up about anyone elses….

obviously a major character flaw: caring