Give me Feckin Strength....For This:

I’ll be baccck though….today is Tuesday, I have to be outta here on THURSDAY, Wednesday would be better….packing up madly, only got on here to type this quick note and see if the Building Check guy has emailed me his Inspection Report on the new place yet (it’s today….he’s inspecting my new home today at 9am…it’s 9.20am)...$495 to him via internet when i get it, yeeooouuuccchhh :(

So to all my mates here, i’m sorry if i missed anybodys comments or missed cheering those i wanted to cheer….not intentional, just brain not quite on overload right now…

so much to be doing and not enough time:(...i am one lucky Red though….i had my guy here yesterday, he got stuck into all the crap everywhere, packed up….took me round and got me lots of boxes from recycling bins everywhere…packing tape….he’s been a godsend, i haven’t had anyone else here to help me…shouldn’t need to anyways…just sadly motivationally challenged.

So….at home now, i stay with him at nights cos i don’t want to stay here, in this empty half packed untidy non-home, it makes me sad….so i’m lucky.

He’s coming back after work to help me, he said he can be a real bossy prick and i WILL get moved out on time…:) that’s a blessing, i need a rocket under me right now…

So, fingers x’d….i’ll try and check back in before, but if i don’t…#I’LL MISS YOU ALL# and be thinking of you….

Good luck in Vegas :D i WILL be back…in my own new home, madly UNPACKING lol….:)

((((hugs))))

is gonna be a bit of a stinker….

going to my ex in-laws for dinner, had a few birthdays lately in their family, plus my 7 year olds in the week…

my ex will be there too, it’s his week with em from 4.30 onwards (Sunday)...

bit nervous, cos it’s my dam Wedding Anniversary tomorrow/today….it doesn’t mean anything now, just would have to be tomorrow/today…18 years…hope to god none of em bring it up….

i’m gonna go there, hold my head up high, smile and make polite chit chat for 3 or 4 hours, kiss my kids goodbye…then i’m OUTTA THERE….faster than a speeding bullet, lol…even I have my dam pride (sometimes)...i don’t care HOW p’d off or upset i am, none of em are gonna see it…

then i’m going to the Cemetary…visting my parents will be the perfect antidote to all the bs….i’ll be a bit sad, but it comforts me too in a weird way…

in my truck, stereo on, drive fast (not TOO fast though, it is the Easter Break….)

then going to see my guy…and though i should be home doing crappola…i’m staying the night :) THAT is what is gonna get me through the day…

he’s a bit concerned bout all this, which is kinda sweet…thinks i am laying myself wide open for more bs and upset…

maybe i am…but i was invited there for lunch, and i’m going….cos it will make my kids happy, and they are still their family…

and after 3 or 4 hours…I GET TO LEAVE :D free to go…and do what I want to do….:D

just give me strength to have the dignity i want to have when i’m there….and god help me, please don’t let him corner me with any more bs….