clean up my house and keep it clean

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/housework/

...owing to the fact that I now HAVE to have this place in order by Wednesday. I won’t bother explaining why, it’d just stress me and bore you, but I’ve got to pull this place together by then. Good grief, where to even start?

Dishes. I need to do dishes. I’ll start there.

I might just post a lot of dizzy li’l micro-entries today, or keep editing this one, just so I don’t feel like I’m working at this alone. Hope nobody minds me posting some visual clutter in the course of getting rid of my physical clutter.

And I still can’t find a stupid pair of pants when I want them. (After searching for an hour I finally found them – in one of those “special places where I’ll have no chance to lose them because they’re right in front of me.”)

Sometimes I wonder if there’s any point at all.

I’m sure you’re aware that I have been trying very hard for the last several months to keep this house clean for myself, my guests, and yes, you. Your conduct this morning did not help.

I don’t mind when you leave bits of food splattered all over your eating area; you’re a messy eater, I know that, and that’s why you have a place mat. Neither do I mind when you go careening out of your litter box and kicking litter all over the bathroom floor; for whatever reason, male cats in particular seem to find pooping an occasion to celebrate, and if that means rocketing yourself out of there like you’re on fire, lovely. That’s why I keep a whisk broom next to your box. Nevertheless, this morning was a bit much.

First you tore my shelf off the wall. I don’t know how you managed to tear all five screws out of the wall, but somehow you did. My mother says I should just forget about it and be grateful nothing broke. My mother, as usual, missed the point. You are a CAT, and you somehow tore an entire SHELF off of the WALL!

You did this while I was asleep, and I was so exhausted I didn’t much care what the thunderous crash was – I only knew that your feet were galloping away from the scene, and that I’d likely have one heckuva cleanup job waiting for me when I finally got up. Then a short time later I heard you throwing up in the bathroom. Okay, cats throw up. They don’t like it any better than I do. Not your fault. And heck, you even threw up on a non-carpeted surface, which is pretty skillful.

Then when I woke up I discovered the true nature of the damage. Stuff EVERYWHERE. The vase of flowers you knocked over soaked several things on the way down, including a very sweet note from one of my best friends. When I went into the bathroom I discovered that you also had elected to sample the flowers from said vase at some point; I know this because that’s what you threw up. The flowers have been here a week and a half and you hadn’t shown the least interest. I’ve had flowers here regularly since I adopted you four years ago and you’ve never shown any interest in any of them, including flowers of this exact same variety. I might also add that you weigh about 15 pounds, so you can’t really make the excuse that you were starving and desperate, so…WHY??? And to top it all off, you caused another small avalanche in the bathroom that I had to dig through just to get to the toilet and pee.

If my screaming fits this morning disturbed you, my apologies, but well…let this be some indication that when I tell you repeatedly to stay away from the area near my desk, this is why it’s a good idea to LISTEN! I love you dearly but you drove me even nearer the precipice above utter insanity, and I was already doing the cha-cha pretty close to the edge of it with all that’s happening. It has been a LOUSY day for both of us ever since; I’ve been depressed and overwhelmed, so much so that I stayed home all day, and I’m not fun for you when you have to share the house with me that way. So, a humble request:

No more kittycat demolition games! Please! Or if you’re going to do something half this obnoxious, at least wait until I’m awake so I don’t open my eyes to this kind of chaos first thing.

Luv,

The Human

And today, as part of Sunday’s usual boogie, I have…

cleaned the cat box

cleaned up after the cat in other various ways (boy is he a messy little eater – only cat I know that needs a place mat!)

taken out the trash and recycling

cleaned the windows

washed the dishes and the kitchen floor

washed the bathroom sink, the bathtub, the shower curtain, the toilet, and the bathroom mirror

dusted

I’m finding it somewhat easier to keep up with some things just because I keep cleaning the house over and over for guests – someone or other almost every weekend now – and once it’s that nice I don’t want to mess it up. Putting stuff in my daily planner also helps; I’ve come to realize nothing gets done unless it’s in there.

There are areas where things could still improve though…

Booster projects:

-clean the table so I can work/eat on it comfortably

Continual:

-whatever I take out to use, put back where I found it as soon as I’m done with it, yes, even if I’m inspired or in a hurry to do something else

-wipe down surfaces as soon as I’m done with them

Daily:

-spruce up kitty’s eating area

-scoop litter

-sweep kitty litter off floor

Sunday-Tuesday-Thursday:

-take out trash in the bathroom and drag all the trash out to the roadside

-clean bath tub and mat

Monday-Wednesday-Friday:

-put cat toys into cat toy basket so the place doesn’t look like a danged cat sanctuary

-vacuum

Sunday:

-change kitty litter completely

-clean the windows

-wash/clean sink, toilet, bathtub, bathroom mirror

Monday:

-dust bathroom knickknacks

Tuesday:

-clean kitchen floor

Wednesday:

-just kinda dust everything

Thursday:

-change the sheets

Friday:

-straighten up stuff along the kitchen wall

Saturday:

-straighten up CDs, tapes, DVDs, and books which I KNOW will otherwise tend to become strewn all over the house

Monthly:

-check dates on emergency supplies and other non-refrigerated food

I can literally spend twelve hours a week cleaning and organizing a one-room cabin and I get to wondering if it matters at all because it seems like as soon as I start doing anything but cleaning – you know, like living – the place starts deteriorating and within two or three days the place looks like a nightmare again. I’m serious – I took out the trash two days ago and now there’s this huge pile of garbage again. The bed had nothing on it this morning but my alarm clock and now I’m probably going to have to get through a fifteen-minute cleanup to have anywhere to sleep. Two days ago the kitchen was immaculate and now it looks like a cyclone hit. Last week the table looked fine; now I can’t even see the stupid table. Two weeks ago the closet was in perfect order, now there’s a monstrous pile of linens and stuff on top of the drawers. I am ONE PERSON living alone! How is this kind of craziness happening?

And these schedules I set up for myself to keep up with it all worked okay for a while, but you know what? I am sick of everything in my life being determined by a list somewhere. That’s why I no longer look at my cleaning schedule, my daily routine that I wrote for myself, or my planner any more so than I must to get to appointments and get homework turned in on time. I barely feel like I’m the same person internally from one week to the next; I can’t deal with this repetitive Sisyphean insanity of doing the same incredibly time-consuming routines over and over only to have the problems repeat themselves weeks, days, or hours later. I don’t know what I need to do but this is not working.

Daily:

-spruce up kitty’s eating area

-wash dishes

-put away dishes

-scoop litter

-sweep kitty litter off floor

-remove any clothing or small objects left lying around in the bathroom

-remove any stray stuff left lying on the table or chairs

29, 1, 3 – Every other day – odd-numbered dates:

-take out trash in the bathroom and drag all the trash out to the roadside

-tidy up kitchen counters and cart

28, 30, 2, 4 – Every other day – even-numbered dates:

-clean under and around the table and temple room cabinet

-put cat toys into cat toy basket so the place doesn’t look like a danged cat sanctuary

Once a week:

-dust bathroom knickknacks

-change kitty litter completely

-laundry

-clean kitchen floor

-check under and around the bed for rogue stuff

-clean the dish rack

-dust the microwave

-make sure nothing’s piling up improperly in the closet

-change the sheets

-straighten up stuff along the kitchen wall

-straighten up CDs, tapes, DVDs, and books which I KNOW will otherwise tend to become strewn all over the house

-get the hair up off the rug and vacuum the place up

Every other week – B weeks:

-clean the stove

-clean the kitchen window sill

-tidy on top of the refrigerator

-clean the windows

Daily:

-spruce up kitty’s eating area

-wash dishes

-put away dishes

-scoop litter

-sweep kitty litter off floor

-remove any clothing or small objects left lying around in the bathroom

-remove any stray stuff left lying on the table or chairs

25, 27 Every other day – odd-numbered dates:

-take out trash in the bathroom and drag all the trash out to the roadside

-tidy up kitchen counters and cart

24, 26 Every other day – even-numbered dates:

-clean under and around the table and temple room cabinet

-put cat toys into cat toy basket so the place doesn’t look like a danged cat sanctuary

Once a week:

-dust bathroom knickknacks

-change kitty litter completely

-laundry

-clean kitchen floor

-check under and around the bed for rogue stuff

-clean the dish rack

-dust the microwave

-make sure nothing’s piling up improperly in the closet

-change the sheets

-straighten up stuff along the kitchen wall

-straighten up CDs, tapes, DVDs, and books which I KNOW will otherwise tend to become strewn all over the house

-get the hair up off the rug and vacuum the place up

Every other week – A weeks:

-wash/clean sink and toilet surfaces

-clean bath tub and mat

-clean bathroom mirror

-dust everything

I’m reasonably sure this week of my life was sponsored by Satan himself. As desperate as I am to keep my home looking nice, I was even more desperate for some basic sanity this week. I let my cleaning routines slide and am already suffering rather abjectly for it.

Unfortunately, with my condition, there’s a tipping point beyond which I just cannot cope without help, and since I live alone that help usually has to come from within; prior planning and nearly fail-safe organizational structures are crucial. So for this week I think I have to run things a little differently.

Daily:

-spruce up kitty’s eating area

-wash dishes

-put away dishes

-scoop litter

-sweep kitty litter off floor

-remove any clothing or small objects left lying around in the bathroom

-remove any stray stuff left lying on the table or chairs

17, 19 Every other day – odd-numbered dates:

-take out trash in the bathroom and drag all the trash out to the roadside

-tidy up kitchen counters and cart

16, 18, 20 Every other day – even-numbered dates:

-clean under and around the table and temple room cabinet

-put cat toys into cat toy basket so the place doesn’t look like a danged cat sanctuary

Once a week:

-dust bathroom knickknacks

-straighten up CDs, tapes, DVDs, and books which I KNOW will otherwise tend to become strewn all over the house

-get the hair up off the rug and vacuum the place up

Category done:

Every other week – B weeks