Give God All of Me

God reminded me today that the time I spend with Him is never wasted. The time taken from other things, and given to Him really is the only time that matters… other things, like grass, fade away; but Gods word.. and time with Him, last forever.

I’s so easy for me to get busy… to have so much to do that there seems like there is no extra time to spend in His presents… or if I do it’s a few hurried minutes out of a sense of obligation.

After all, I tell myself, if I don’t do this well; get good grades: be the best worker: If I don’t shine: If I’m not the best I can be, than I wont get a better job and others wont see how God is working.

But you know what… God doesn’t need my help to prove His glory. He already has that! Who cares if I get all A’s in this life if I don’t become all I can be in Him!

I’m still going to do my best. I’m going to study as hard as I can… after I give Him His time.

besides.. He seemed to honor that decision and I was able to understand and absorb much more today in less time :)

This is not a one time… “I’m done with this goal”

This will never be completed; and yet, God is completing this in me everyday. This is a growth process, as any other good relationship is.

There is a big difference though. God demands my all; but He gave His all, His life!

I have had many hard times this year, many ups and downs; more downs then ups. I have crawled into my hole and away from my problems… or tried to.

I believe God allows problem in our lives to grow us. looking back at this last year I can see such a difference in how I have handled thing in comparison to years past. There have been many time I hide from the world and others, but I never ran from God or questioned what He was doing. That’s a major step for me. (just 5 short years ago I tried to commit suicide with less reason then I had this year.) Granted… I did pull away from everyone. I did make some major mistakes and got some people mad… hopefully I didn’t burn bridges and those relationships can be repaired.

Through all these problem I have seem how far I have come. I have seen how God never gives up on us, even when we give up on ourselves. I’m looking forward to seeing just what He is going to do in my life in the year to come.

In his book The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he can not imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased

it’s so easy to get lost in the desires of this world and forget that this is just a shadow … a reflection of things to come. What God has for us is so much more real and more rich that it makes this “fun” look … sick.
The Apostle Paul called it rubbish (or literally dung, or crap in Greek)
Phil. 3:8-9
I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness
of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all
things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and
be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes
from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ the
righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

nothing else matters

Roman 1:25
For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped
and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is
blessed forever.

Isaiah 45:9
“Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you doing?’ Or the thing you are making say,
‘He has no hands’?

1. God love ME not my body the me inside .. And if I was fat, he would still love ME .. He die for me and wants me to give my life … my whole life, to Him
2. My body is temporary it is getting older it might get fat. It will die what I do and how I live for Christ will last
3 anything that I put before God INCLUDING FOOD becomes an idol and my god. YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME
4 instead of trying to focus on what not to do I need to turn my focus on God
5 there is a good chance that things could get harder before they get easier. It’s hard to tell how strong something is unless it is tested. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

I can’t do this on my own, but I CAN do it through Christ
a friend sent me this song my Reliant K that just about sums it up
it’s called Be My Escape

the beauty of grace is it makes life not fair

this last month has been a real time of ups and downs…
I have had a real struggle with my eating again, and the real battle came with my desire to want to run for my problem and from God

I’m finding though that I am learning as much or more from the times when I fall as when I am strong.. and I am finding that I can’t and don’t need to do this on my own

“His strength is made perfect in my weakness”

how we can mess up so completely and God still not only forgives us but restores us and blesses us even in our weakness. I have made a lot of stupid mistakes these last few months, years, but God has show me, how when I give my life to Him how he can take those mistakes and use even those to His glory.
More then that, He loves us so completely and paid such a high price for us that He will make sure that we are transformed into the creation He wants us to be.
The more you pay for a product, the more interest you are going to take in making sure you get what you want.
I can rest in the knowledge that God is not going to give up on me, because I know He has already paid the highest price to make me His own.
He wont give up on me.

it’s easier to run then it is anything else, especially for me.
I have perfected the art.
there are times when I remind myself of a small child having a temper tantrum when they didn’t get their way. looking back, I know I made the wrong decisions. I wonder even now if I would change then if I had it to do over again. I want so badly to get it right, to do it right … to be perfect.
I want God to have it all, but there are little hidden area that sneak in here and there that I get comfortable with, and then don’t want to give up, and they turn into pride and rebellion.
I try to take control….but things then go out of control
I need to rest and trust in Him once again
and Give Him all

and I’m not losing this battle without a fight
_{some people have to fight harder for things then other} ;)

and since God is fighting for me … I don’t think I have to worry about losing at all

It seem when I mess up…I really mess up. I don’t do things in a small way, but God is so gracious, and He uses those time in my life to show me more of Himself.

He gave me two verses today

1 Corinthians 1:26-28
For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble: But God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised, God has chosen, God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are.

if anyone can be considered week or base in this world …it’s me, and if He chose me …He can use me for His glory

2 Corinthians 4:6
For the God who said, “Light shell shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

there may be darkness in my heart, but God is the one who will and is shining through for others to see

God showed me something today…something He has for me to do …kinda scary ..no really scary… It’s much bigger then I want to do…but I have given Him all

it’s so easy to lose focus
to take back control
when I take my eyes off Him and put them back on me

I don’t want it back

for me to live is Christ, to die is gain.