raise a son who will be a wonderful husband one day

Please…. powers that be, higher being above, one of many Gods HELP. Give me the patience that I will need to grow with this step /phase in his life.
I know we both are buttheads. major butts.
stubborn, smart asses, independant, difiant, smart, funyseeking attention through our witty jokes/comments.

and he is a boy.

this fall is mddle school. 6th grade. I know there will be more times and actually have been times where my tolerance and patience have been tried. but please. Don’t give me anything I cannot handle.
that’s all. I ask. {for now}

my son is in need of meds. well one opinion anyway
the doc, says ADHD ha ha really who isn’t spaztic? anyway I haven’t yet decided to start this med thing just yet, I have another appt in 4 weeks, and then maybe, I need to hear from anyone on this good or bad? should I start this it could be a good thing and then he could be like mom, dependant on this stuff, or then he could be like dad, self medicated with pot???hmmm?

its been 3 weeks since my last entry, and tomorrow we have tro see this doc for my son. I am nervous, he has been SO disrespectful to me and his teachers ok just about everyone lately(1-2weeks) and I don’t know what it is about he doesn’t talk to me he onlu wants to talk to his dad and even dad does seem to get through to him?
I feel like I am at fork in the road, I wan tto be strict and stren to show him that life is shitty at times and we have to buck up and just go with things and do things we don’t aleways want ot do, and yet the mom in me, says to be nice and sweet and encourageing but then he still tries to walk on me, not really just it feels that way, that I am a pushover, where is my middle ground I want him to know that this is business and I fo love him and care and want the world for him but he needs to stop fighting with me and the adults in life.

to go through these little boy to teen changes, why so early? apparently he had a ‘dream’ about this girl in class, well I guess she’s ugly,? anyway, he told his ‘friend’ and then that friend told someone else, and so on, well anyway, this girl (the ugly girl)found out from her friend, and my son found out she told the ugly girl he saw her at recess, and either tripped her or kicked her….and he got in trouble, of course.

So he got in trouble for kicking her and getting so pissed at her he maade this letter or note up, and sent it to the boys in class, asking them if they would help him, get this girl, well I am thinking get as in hurt. right
well I got a call from the school and had to come pick him up and not have him return until he saw a counsoler. anger issues, ha ha. now if someone I thought was a friend and confided something like that and then that person told, yea I would be mad at that kid, and then girl that told the ugly girl.not just the one girl, anyway, long story I know, but know my son is labeled ‘angry’ and has issues. I told him this
he can’t just hurt people because they hurt your feelings, but you can stick up for yourself, and not let anyone hurt you, by hitting or talking.
I told him yes we need to work on displacing anger and not on people, and I also said to him good for you standing up for yourself.
SAhould I be mad and punish him , yea right, my kid is angery because someone told his private business, and how embarrassing.
anyway I bought him a journal, with a lock on it, and he really likes it, he brings it with him, and writes a lot, I told him that he can right ANYTHING!
and we are going to a therapist again, to discuss issues.

and we went to the school fairly early, My smart guy, he is doing very well at school, 4th grade, he has all B’s and his behavior has improved, he still has an off day but he is doing good. Plus the teacher praises him quite a lot, so it’s a good esteem builder. He is smart just like mom, we just don’t always use it. :)

My fav little man

and he is doing really well, change and adapting. He is my good boy. He has goals wants and knows what is good and klnows how to get things he wants, he’s smart funny makes me laugh cheers me up, takes care of me if I have a headache, he’ll be extra quite, he likes to cuddle and watch movies, on friday after work and school, he’s a good big brother, he reads to his sister, and helps her get a class of milk, reminds her to wash her hands. he does his homework, and asks for help, he comes up with questions and has so many ideas, he is a thinker. he likes to read, and is good at it, he makes up stories at bedtime, he shares his day and he is happy learing art, he is excited when in gym they play soccer, he likes showimg me his new legos invention, or play dough colors.

He has/is learning to like and accept my bf more each day, he sees that he loves me, and that is good, he doesn’t try him, and knows his limits, he was jealous at first but now knows that he comes first always and his sister.
he sees his dad, and knows that he will be better thatn him, he looks up to grandpa, he is a strong and good man, fun and fair. a good male role model. he likes movies, and spongebob, we don’t watch tv shows, at home, he does watch cartoon at grandpa and grandmas, house. he loves gameboy :) playing darts and learning new cords on guitar. he is lovable and smart and a joy to have in life, yea he can test my patience, and push my buttons, we talk and he knows I love him no matter what. and that mom cares about him and school and his future, and his life and what he likes to do. he is a good kid.

dad doesn’t have proper tags for his car, nor insurance. (LOSER) so he doesn’t drive and depends on others to help him out. I am so tired of helping out him, help yourself. anyway, my son was happy dad was coming over to pick him up, he has missed him, plus he brought movies, and he was ready to show him the new “song” he was working on, his guitar. He’s getting good :)He’ll be back tommorrow. just a quick visit. I think he’s bored, his friend went to visit his own dad out of state for three weeks. plus dad can give him the PLAY time, and baby him, he’s nine let him grow. be a good example, show him to be indpendant, right! he doesn’t know how to do that. I feel like I get a break, finally, I feel the weight on my shoulders, being both parents, is very hard.

he is young yea, but he seems to be so clingy to me at times, when my daughter, is at her dad’s and when my BF is around, he doesn’t want to “share” me. and I know that, but How can I seperate him and wanting to be there ALL the time. maybe it’s not enough mommy son time? I feel so stretched now as it is, it’s a relief when one is away, so I can get a little time to breathe. between being a mom, housekeeper, cook, maid, waitress, accountant, nurse, love slave:) where do I have time for me. so it’s hard to have the kids, son so clingy. I try to give him time.any suggestions?

today my son and I were talking about when he was younger, like his sister age and the silly things he did, well I told him that one day I will tell you wife about all those things he smiled and said. .. I’m not getting married. :) Great well I said you don’t HAVE to. I’ll just have a girlfriend, he says. I just hope that he will be wise enough not to make the same mistakes his dad did…... or me for that matter. He sees his dad less and less every month, and my son doesn’t seem bothered by it, he knows that his dad loves him, he also knows that his dad DOES not take care of him , doesn’t cook for him, lets him stay up all nite. His dad is a big kid, play bass and sings in a band. doesn’t have a decent job can barly pay his bills let alone for OUR son. he knows that his dad is a loser, he told me this, and his therapist, I don’t bad mouth his dad, or withhold him from seeing him, HIs band is more important smoking weed and drinking and hanging out with kids younger than him by 15+ years. not a good male role model, father figure. etc.my job as mom is harder bc of this. My son is a great kid, smart funny sweet, helpful, fun, loving, caring has manners, even if he doesn’t use them home he does friends houses, :) I want so much for him, raising a boy to become a man is a hard job, I don’t want to mess it up, or screw him up in the future. I don’t want him to be a dead beat dad, a women beater, a bum, in prison/jail. I just hope I am going about it the right way.