Fall in love

i may be too afraid to actually let this happen.

currently deciding on the need vs. want
do i need someone? do i want someone?
there are great people out there, i know.
and i’m slowly realizing i am one of them.

i’m not sure if love happens when you line up certain variables. i think it just happens. you just feel something extraordinary for someone.
this doesn’t happen on the first date, im sure. as much as i wish i knew if i should pursue… i’ll try to ride the wave.

no one seems willing to share their life with me.
i’m more than ready to share mine… but without that other half wanting to share theirs… whats the point?

i went out for dinner with the guy in my life i have always wondered about. it was great, just the two of us…
but i was let down when, after i calmed down from how well it went, realizing there is no spark.
it doesn’t mean i don’t care about him, but it just wasn’t meant to be a romantic relationship.

the experience taught me lots though, i am as eager as ever to find someone. while i wait i’ll work on finding myself…

It is madness
says reason
It is what it is
says love

It is unhappiness
says caution
It is nothing but pain
says fear
It has no future
says insight
It is what it is
says love

It is ridiculous
says pride
It is foolish
says caution
It is impossible
says experience
It is what it is
says love

Erich Fried

sometimes you need to redefine concepts of love.
for instance, intimacy. many define this as involving sex, or a deep openness with emotion.
with what i have been reading, the definition of intimacy has changed to allow intimacy to exist with a stranger. moving my traditional definition of this from romantic ideas to a connection with another.
we have the ability to be intimate with so many individuals, and we shouldn’t limit ourselves.

love works out best when there is a understanding of the basis for the relationship. a sense of respect, honestly, compassion. the deepest of connections is, after all, the love that last the longest.
we have a biological basis for relationships, to reproduce. but moving beyond sex can be most fulfilling, and long-lasting.

just questioning your definitions of love and concepts that are under it’s heading is important.
i’m not in love, but when i do “fall” it will be anything but disposable.

just beware:
your love for the idea of love may cloud the realities of love that are on their own, never very apparent until you’re about them.

love yourself, to love another.

i know nothings of this topic, speaking purely as someone walking in a dark room with her eyes closed.

sometimes you think you’re so close and then reality plays on and on in your head and nothing turns out to be as wonderful as you’ve dreamt it up to be.
i hate the feeling of skating on broken ice, that any moment i could fall, that any moment i could just disappear. i really don’t want to hurt anyone, i feel like i’m all wrong for love or is it that love is all wrong for me?
you can’t just worry about yourself anymore. i’m so used to just myself.

do you think you fall in love in an all incompassing moment of complete bliss with someone, or is it something you wake up one day and find yourself in after years with this amazing person in your life?

tell me stories. make me warm inside. :)

i think about love all the time.
everyone tells me that it will happen when i’m not worrying about it. i just hope i don’t end up alone. i have too much love to share.

this is something i will never give up hope on.