get over my fear of public speaking

for my school, and I’m in charge of speakers so naturally I am speaking. Well, not so naturally because I am TERRIFIED, but kind of excited.

I have started to think about what I am going to say…I’m going to end with a song (which means I need to find out if they have a piano and if not, bring my keyboard) and I’m supposed to be driving home the whole concept of the conference, which is to build community within the student body, empowering and motivating the delegates to get active and reinforce the power of one idea.

I have three weeks! Eek!

For opening and closing ceremonies with the school we were building, the kids did songs and dances for us so we did a song for them. At closing ceremony we wanted to do a couple of songs, one being “Feels like Home”, and while we were attempting to practice no one could figure out how it actually went, so I sang the chorus (that’s all we did) and they decided I should have a solo.

So I did it, and I’m really proud of myself.

It was better while we were practicing, but I think that’s because I was crying during closing ceremonies.

Well, the past three nights have been full of music. Wednesday and Thursday were spent at Markham Theatre with my school’s music program. I sang with chamber choir (we had our own pieces and then performed with Wind Symphony (Grade 11 and 12 band) “Carmina Burana”). On Thursday I sang “Selections from Wicked, the Musical” with Grade 10 Band, with Chamber Choir, Third Stream (jazz choir) and again with Wind Symphony and it was a total blast. I had an awesome time and it was so much fun. We sounded great, we looked great and I was so comfortable on stage with some of my best friends.

Today was Amnesty Café. I was super nervous for my set, but Amnesty Café is like the best place you can ever perform because everyone is so supportive. I did the same thing as last year where I got so nervous that I couldn’t finish my first song, but I got more comfortable as time passed. My last song was great, and I’m proud of myself for improving so much. Next year, maybe I can sing through every song.

I had such a good time tonight!

was tonight. I performed with my jazz choir, it was pretty good…really fun though.

Ivan and I almost didn’t get into cabaret! We did “For Good” and all my music council friends (and the head of the music dept) wanted us in, however Sisters of Song (the all girls choir) was also doing the song and they got priority. So Ivan and I put together the Shania Twain and Brian White duet “From This Moment On” and I am SO PROUD of myself because I was comfortable on stage and we ROCKED.

SO EXCITED, and I can’t wait for pictures!

A.K.A Music Department Talent Show

Didn’t get in last year (a friend did a song by the same artist as I did, and it was her last year at school so they always give the seniors priority. Nice eh? I had called dibs around September.)

My choir buddy Ivan and I are going to perform a duet from the musical Wicked called “For Good”. It’s absolutely adorable, the perfect song for us because its in a really good range, and about being friends.

Hopefully I’ll get my courage up by then, (it’s in April) and I’ll be able to perform well.

oh man, another one of these “all eyes on you” situations.

I have my vocal exam (for school, nothing fancy) in 2 hours.

I hate my song. (I didn’t pick it!)

And I’m very, very nervous.

aaaaaaaaaand now I’m done. It went okay, I forgot some of the words (as usual) and I was very, very nervous throughout the whole thing but my teacher said it sounded good.

Yay.

played “On The Radio” by Regina Spektor. I was shaking, but I did okay. Doing better!

Tonight was the last performance of the year for Third Stream (the jazz vocal group I’m part of at school). It was really fun, we did most of the songs in our repretoire (sp?), which included “Fever,” so I sang my solo, and I think I did much better than at concert, which I’m very happy about. Afterwards, we did a little section where we did little group or solo acts, so about half of us (6ish) did “Samson” by Regina Spektor (my FAVOURITE song). It was fun, very rough, we hadn’t practiced beforehand, but it was fun.

Except, the first thing my mom said about our performance was ”...Did you guys practice?” (read: you guys were terrible, what the hell were you thinking?”) Which is kind of a blow to my self-esteem, especially because she does this EVERYTIME she comes to something. She doesn’t know how to say something nice, and then tactfully say we need to improve. I know it’s SO trivial, but c’mon. She’s my mother, some love would be nice sometimes, you know?

that I haven’t actually completed this goal.

Today taught me that, so it’s something I still need to work on.

(read entry for “memorize my set list by friday. eep.”)

Well, not quite but I’m almost there. I’m still terrified, but I’m stepping up and putting myself out there which is almost the same thing. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully comfortable with being in the spotlight, but as long as I try, it’s okay.