stop picking my skin

Argh!! i have started picking again (badly) after stopping for nearly a year. I am so disapointed with myself and dont know how to make it go away again. I dont know if my skin has got worse since coming off the pill and then i’ve started picking because there are spots to pick at, or whether its because i expected my skin to get worse after coming off the pill so i have made it bad myself?!!
I am trying the things i used to try (getting my family to take the mirror out of the bathroom, cleaning my face when i feel i’m going to pick) but none of it seems to work at all. My will power is completely shite, and i’m just worried that it’ll begin to take over my life again!! hellllllllllllp!!

This evening ive really pissed myself off with my picking. I’d been out most of the day,and had a friend over till 6 so i didnt really pick then. Then after he went, everytime i went into the bathroom, or walked past a mirror i completely attacked my face! its like ive hacked it apart, ive got a big open cut on one cheak which was healing nicely untill i picked it,and ive picked the whole of my face when there wasnt many noticeble spots but i just felt that i wanted to get all the bumps and crap out of my skin as it didnt belong there. Now im just sat with a face mask on to cover up all the evidence and so i dont pick when i pass a mirror. I know i’ll keep it on for hours,which im sure isnt good for skin either so will probably end up making it worse :-( Also i havnt been doing my star chart which i want to get back into doing but cant seem too..oh life seems crappy! okay,rant over!

Today ive been on my own all day and ive had nothing to do so ive found that ive picked at my face and my chest alot. Its starting to really get me down because everytime i think im doing okay,something proves it wrong to me that i still cant control my picking. arghh im fed up of it all now! i want it to go away:o(

Todays my 10th day of trying not to pick at my skin..the last few days i hadnt been doing so well,but today it feels like im getting back on track! Ive still picked a bit today, but its no way near as bad as it has been, and i feel like im more in control. Im guessing that im just going through a good patch, but then again i can base consciously stopping myself from picking on that!

Yesterday and today ive found it really hard to not pick. I dont know what it is thats changed,but im not as motivated as i was and its like im giving myself permission to pick a bit but then i just carry on through out the day. I did really well for about 4 days, and now it seems like its all going downhill and i was getting excited about nothing. Sorry im being all moany if theres anyone reading this,i just hate the way i look at the moment. Hopefully tomorro will be better!

Yesterday i had to go out for a friends birthday,so i went shopping before to get a new dress..Everything was going okay untill i got into a changing room and there was horrible flourecent lighting…it showed up every bump on my skin so i started to panick a bit. Then to make matters worse,on the way home i was stuck in a traffic jam so i had no time to get ready when i finally got home..by the time i actually got out i was a nervous wreck! This morning ive picked quite alot for the first time in 4days,im disapointed with myself but im trying to stay positive as i know i have the rest of my day to start not picking again!

Today i still havnt picked but its been on my mind constantly which is very annoying. Ive been touching my face alot, feeling for bumps which im sure isnt good as it feels like im spreading germs all over my face. I was in town earlier,and my face seemed to look worse than it did yesterday..maybe its because i was in public which made me feel more paranoid,i dont know?! :o(

Today’s been harder than yesterday for some reason. Im not sure if its because im not as focused, or if im just noticing more imperfections on my skin. This morning i went to see my therapist and i told her i didnt know if yesterday had been easier than usual because i was going through my non pick phase, or if it was really me stopping myself from picking! Anyway, on the plus side i still havnt picked today!

The last few days ive decided that im going to try really hard to stop picking my skin. Ive been reading other peoples entries on here,and they’ve really helped me see that im not the only one who has this problem! One person has written about a star chart which thev’e made to record their progress, so last night i printed out a chart which i made on word,and today i brought some stickers. So far ive only got one sticker :-( ive devided the day into 3 parts (from when i wake up until 1.00,1.00 untill 6.00 and then 6.00 untill i go to bed) I didnt pick all morning,but before i went shopping and was doing my make up i picked a teeny weeny bit..just enough not to earn my second star. Anyway,im going to try and write on here everyday if i can because it feels like i can express myself as people are going through the same thing understand me!