foundandlost is doing 36 things including…

Be a better friend

4 cheers

 

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foundandlost has written 2 entries about this goal

That moment.

Earlier this week I experienced one of those moments. Those moments, when like Alfie does as the champagne flute shatters, you completely stop, and it dawns on you that you may just be witnessing the beginning of the end.

For the first half of this week I experienced a real sense of loss. That sting that comes from unexpected rejection. Like a balloon bursting or a window shattering. It happened very quickly, and without warning. Realising I wasn’t invited to a birthday dinner of a close friend. Perhaps it doesn’t sound like very much, but it’s the circumstances surrounding the situation and the way it was dealt with which is the most upsetting. In the moment, I genuinely experienced that resounding sense that things would never be the same.

But as the week went on, I began to unpack the feelings of negativity and loss and saw the situation for exactly what it was. The more I thought about it the more it became clear in my mind that this moment represented a clear turning point in my life. Perhaps it’s okay for friendships to slowly part ways. Perhaps it’s okay to gently cut the rope that has bound you together. And most reassuringly, perhaps it is okay to admit that you will be alright outside of these safe walls.

There are millions of potential friends in this world, as I have learnt very quickly from even this site alone, and I want to shake the hand of every one of them. I want friendships based on mutual interest, not sentimentality. I want fresh, stimulating, awe-inspiring conversation, not a stiff, predictable recount of daily happenings. I want to laugh, sing, celebrate and engage, not stifle my personality for the sake of making do.

Good-morning, new friends. :)



New Beginnings.

For various different reasons, but mostly stemming from a difficult relationship I had been involved in over the last 18 months, a number of my oldest friendships have become strained.

When I first removed myself from the relationship that had totally engulfed me, my first instinct was to reach out to all those I love as means for support and reassurance. Unfortunately though it became obvious very quickly that many of these connections had been severed almost irreparably. Through a mixture or carelessness, ignorance and complacency on my part, many of my closest friends had become almost strangers to me.

In the first few weeks after the breakup I took some time for self reflection and reached out to those i’d hurt with handwritten letters. I know of no better way to adequately express myself then through the written word. I’d hoped the letters I wrote would lay the foundations for healing and reconnection. Thankfully my apologies and explanations were incredibly well received.

As these connections are gradually strengthened through the passing of time and more of a concerted effort on my part, there are still a number of people that I am yet to reach out to. I want that to change.

The focus of this goal is to identify, appreciate and nurture my existing friendships and to understand what it means to be a good friend for those I will inevitably meet. Though I find myself progressively more content with my own company, I definitely do relish social connections, and I am looking forward to establishing more :)



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