I’ve never had a problem with jealousy in previous relationships. It’s never even been an issue. I have been in relationships in which I have been cheated on because I tend to pick the wrong ladies for me. I would be upset, of course. I think something like that upsets anyone. I just never saw it coming and in retrospect I guess I never really cared that much.
That is why I am puzzled as to why I am now in a relationship with someone I love and feel jealous. It’s stupid. It’s silly. It’s horrible. I know that they would never cheat on me. I know that they love me.
I’m just being infuriating right now and have probably already almost killed the relationship. I just need to stop. Breathe. Realize that I’m being silly. I’m not going to lose something this great because I screw up something this stupid. It’s just not going to happen.
I’m making myself understand that she and I are both two separate people who love each other but still are SEPARATE PEOPLE. We can spend some time with our friends and things of that nature because that’s healthy. We can talk to other people on the phone without meaning anything by it. We are separate people, but we are together. The fact that she is with me and is willing to work through this should tell me all I need to know.
I just wish I didn’t have such a problem with myself lately. I need to accept that I am apparently all right because she is with me for a reason and that she has a life outside of me.
It’s like stating the obvious.
I just need to work so hard at this without going out of my way because that is prone to make things worse. It will be okay, though.
It’s very controllable and I can let her breathe.
