not be jealous

So that girl I wrote about I dont even think about her. I keep trying to remind myself that, that people you are jealous about well, time flies and they just are little memories, I cant even summon the feelings I felt for her(the jealousy).

Yet here I am again, I am jealous. I am living with three other girls next year(One of one of my closest at college) and My close freind and the other girl hang out a lot without calling me. I am jealous. Why?

Let;s think.

1. Do I hangout with other people and not call my close friend? Yeah.
2. Do I still love my close freind and me hanging out doesnt mean i have forgotten her? Of course!
3. Do i care about my close freind and want her to be happy and have freinds? yes

Logically it doesnt make sense! I need to just be not jealous and be greatful and jealous of MYSELF

One of my old freinds is

RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS, skinny, tall, beautiful face, perfect white teeth without orthodontia(or however you spell it.) Liked by all, voted homecoming queen. Boys approach her , girls are nice to her.

And she has absolutly NO personality.

It KILLS ME. Everyone likes her, everyone goes out of their way to smile, they say “I like her” when asked “Why do you like her” they respond with a “i dunno..i just think shes pretty”

Becuase someone looks nice beautiful. You know some people look hot mean but this girl looks like shes the nicest girl in the world and shes gorgeous

Anyways it kills me. I have had to work for friends, yet when she goes somewhere people are niceer to her because shes gorgeous. She is voted homecoming queen. She has never had to work for anyone and it kills me.

Then we were both doing long distnace with our boyfreinds, but her boyfreind(by the way all of her boyfriends have been head over heal in love with her) has come from the university of miami all the way back to our state so he can see her.

ITS RIDICULOUS

i am sick of being jealous of someone who has no smarts, only looks. But i cant help it when in social situations she will always succeed.

She never has to call anyone and say “hey whats up” someone always calls her. When she was one of my good friends in the summer we all complianed becuas eshe kind of dissappears , she makes no effort to stay in touch, yet she has it so fucking easy.

This makes no sense, but i hope i can love myself enough to stop fucking being jealous of her.