have confidence

Hah I was going to at first say I’m sorry if this sounds cocky and then I realized that is not confident.

So here it goes: and with no apologies.

I’m beautiful, I’m smart, I really care about people, I love babies, I eat desert and not scraps of salads like some girls hehe, I am good at taking pictures, I have nice big boobies, I am fairly well off, My family is amazing, I have some amazing positive beautiful people in my life, random people seek me out sometimes and feel comfortable enough to put effort to me.

Why did I do that whole paragraph?
Because I really think the only thing missing from me is Confidence. And even though I have so much and lack that one thing, I genuinly feel its preventing me from living the youth and life that I could potentially have.

I have no confidence. It’s like schitzophrenia(And I in no way want to disrespect that terrible illness I am just making an example) I feel as though my mind talks to me. Bad things “That was awkward of you” “she doesnt like you” “They dont think you are cool enough” “He was bored by you”

and I WANT THAT TO SHUT OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff

I want to enjoy these years, oh how i want to be happy. I need to be confident is all.
ANY TIPS would be so appreciated
sigh.

I need confidence, so i skimmed through my facebook messages and found this: it offers advice, love, but it also makes me remember who i was, before i got all shy here in college.

7:52pm August 20th
hey
just wanted to say – seriously – you are way too cool and too smart to be worried about what other people think of you. what you have to realize is that they don’t matter. if they judge you by how many bracelets you have on or how you wave or how you dress or how you talk then they’re not worth your time, and there are many of those people, especially in college. and they will talk shit about you or whatever to try to bring you down to their level and make you feel beneath them, but you shouldn’t think about that at all because you’re better than them and you need to remember that. forget them, don’t think about them, essentially, fuck ‘em (not literally). there will, on the other hand, with closer inspection, be people who are genuine and worth your time who you will be comfortable with and who you’ll really enjoy being with. basically, just please realize Adelia that you are smart and attractive and special and that you have nothing to worry about at all. relax. enjoy it. it’ll kick ass, i promise. don’t worry about anything, just be yourself. one more time. be yourself. please.

I may just read this every morning to remember to be myself. I don’t know what’s happened in college, i feel so dull, and shy, i need to just be myself.

I need to be me. I need to open up and be the person i once was, and in the meantime, i need to really respect and love myself and see myself how apparently other people see me. This message touched me so much…