Didn’t have a ‘childhood’ cos of extreme domestic violence and abuses. Grandparents etc blamed me for calling police and social work.
Old head on young shoulders, left home at 14, isolated, married at 19, 3 kids by 21. Husband alcoholic, debts, family no help as father still battering mother at home. When she visited she just told me eveything he was doing. Tried all my life to protect her. Situation there and situation at home. 3 babies.
After 28 years of abuse helped mother escape to homeless refuge near police station. Couldn’t let my kids out to play cos father lived round corner. Husband drinking worsened and he overdosed when I made to leave. Trapped. Seaparated, he got sober, we got back and he started having affairs with other recovering alcoholics.
I made him leave, went to college and learned to laugh and lighten up.
Money struggles. Mother now free of father blamed ME for all her problems. Still does.
Brought family up in same bad area I grew up in. Years on and off depression eventually diagnosed Post Traumatic Stress.
Worked full time when raising kids, then made redundant. Bullied (easy for previous victims) in next job. Left.
Now doing courses Social Care and in talking to social workers and experts on child abuse find they DO NOT understand the long term effects of family wide abuse. I HAVE humour, I am not ‘heavy’ all the time – but when it comes to this it is difficult. Class mates have no idea although this is what we are studying. I am seen as too passionate about it.
Stuff we are studying is stuff I know cos I have lived it and had to try to understand over the years. See further effects on my kids cos I can’t have people over, celebrate etc. No medical or professional help though have sought it.
I’m not ‘over the top’, I just see the bigger picture about domestic and child abuse and it is frustrating that the powers that be are so shortsighted about it. There is no will to recognise and help child victims when young or those who suffered it for decades and are left to cope with the damage. Now suffer cardiac problems which am told is nervous system problem due to long term stress. GRRRR.
If a dog was quivering in a corner you wouldn’t blame the dog – you’d ask WHO and WHY.
