“Overcome depression and anxiety” had been my main goal for years, and it’s been a year and a have since I marked that as complete and things have been great since then. And over that time I’ve been coming off my medications one by one. And I was on a lot of them… the doctor I had been seeing for this stuff since I was 17 was a hack and just kept putting me on more and more. At the end of last year I finally found a new doctor and he’s started the process of taking me off of everything. Some have been easy, and I just stopped taking them and felt no change whatsoever. Others have been complete hell, physically and emotionally. Now I have two more that I’m dealing with, and it’s on the hell end of that scale. I had been weaning myself off of Lexapro and stopped taking it completely about a month ago, and have been trying to cut back on the Ativan for the past few weeks. It hasn’t been easy, but at least these are the last few.
I see my doctor tomorrow and I really do need to talk to him and be reassured that what I’m going through is normal. I know it is, but it’s just frightening. I’m feeling the old depression and anxiety coming back, and I need to know it’s just the withdrawal and not a relapse.
I’ve been avoiding my friends for the past few weeks, and don’t like how I’ve been with my boyfriend either. I cry all the time and am so insecure, I constantly fear that I’m bothering him and am putting too much pressure on him to make me feel better. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s just the withdrawal and things will get better. The Seroquel was worse than this, and I got through that. But it just reminds me why I was put on the stuff in the first place, and makes me afraid that I really do need it…
