feel beautiful

Progress:

• Created a Daily Beauty Regiment I have been following, and any new changes I plan to follow as well.
• Being able to buy clothes I like and suit my style, and taking care of them by washing them myself.
• Buying pretty panties and bras and keeping them in good condition.
• Learning that among my group of friends I’m considered very pretty, charming and desirable.
• Finding bath and beauty products that I like.

Things to work on:

• More nice, pretty bras and panties.
• Taking better care of my clothes—using clothes hangers and my dresser, using a hamper instead of leaving clothes lying around.
• Find more accessories that match my style.
• Find the best lotion to help my dry skin and keratosis pilaris.
• Find the best chapstick to help my constantly chapped lips.

Lately I’ve been discovering something about the way others see me. That people actually find me attractive. I’m actually popular with the boys I’m friends with, and am considered very pretty and desirable. I’ve openly been told this quite a few times, and keep getting compliments as I come out of my shell and gain more confidence. It’s difficult to wrap my head around, since I’ve never had much self esteem. But it is helping me to learn to feel beautiful, knowing other people can see it too…

In my last entry I talked about how I was feeling beautiful, and how easy it was. But over time I got out of those good habits I was trying to make, like exfoliating and moisturizing properly, all of that stuff. So now it’s just a matter of starting again.

Acne is still a problem though. The products that I had hoped would work didn’t, so I’m back at square one. But the good news is I start the birth control pill soon, and that is supposed to help acne, though it takes a few months.

And I’m in need of a haircut…

Wow, I have been making so much progress on this goal. I guess I just never paid much attention to my looks before, didn’t really care, and never had much of a reason to, in my eyes. But now that I have started to pay attention and put a little effort into it, I really am feeling beautiful, and it is so easy. Just buying pretty soaps and bath salts and such, being sure to exfoliate and moisturize and everything properly, putting some thought into the outfits I wear. And feeling wonderful, I am just really feeling my inner beauty shine through.

What I want to do now is work on clearing up my skin. I am still self-conscious about my acne. But I think I’ve finally found a brand with products that work, but I need a little more time to see. I am hopeful though.

I also read somewhere, maybe on here, how much a difference undergarments can have on your mood and idea of how you look. That if you wear frumpy stuff, you’ll feel that way, and if you wear something cute or sexy, you’ll feel more confident. This is so true! So I’ve also been enjoying buying pretty panties and bras.

I also would like to start wearing jewelry. I never have before, but always sort of wanted to. I think now is a good time to start. But I just want something simple, something that suits me. It’s been difficult to find anything like that, but I’ll keep an eye out.

Now that I have a boyfriend, this has become a very important goal for me. It never mattered much before, but now it does. I want to be beautiful for him. I know that he already thinks I’m beautiful, and would no matter what, but that just wants me to work on it even more.

Since I hardly ever leave the house, I haven’t been thinking about this goal at all. But now, since I’m starting to get out more, this suddenly matters again.

Unfortunately I’ve also recently developed acne. I never had a problem with it when I was younger. I’m thinking it’s a side-effect of a medication I’m on, but I really just don’t know. This has put a huge dent in my self-image. I just started using Clearasil stuff, and am hoping it works. I don’t think I’ll feel completely secure until it’s gone.

So, no, not feeling beautiful. :(

Feeling beautiful. Somewhat anyway. I’ve been dressing up a lot. Buying new clothes. Lots of stuff I don’t usually bother with. Plus I’ve been going outside a lot, especially swimming at the beach, which does wonders for ones looks.

I have been feeling better but I still need to make more effort if I really want to feel beautiful. Perhaps I’ll make a list of things I should be doing, that should give me a good place to start…

Since I’m beginning to care about life again, things like how I look are becoming more important to me. I’m not much into clothes, and refuse to wear makeup, but I think I need to take the time in the morning to make myself look presentable. I just want to feel that I look okay, so I can be confident enough to not worry about how people are looking at me.