become more independent

Progress:

• Have my own driver’s license and car and am comfortable driving on my own to most places, and can find my way using Google maps.
• Schedule and go to appointments with Carroll on my own.
• Schedule and go to appointments with DORS and Pathways on my own.
• Have a job, earning money on my own and starting to get into the work force so I can find better jobs in the future. Also drive myself to and from work.
• Drive myself anywhere I want to go, don’t need permission from anyone or to inform anyone, and can get gas on my own.
• Arranged a doctor’s appointment with Dr. Leon on my own and plan to go to it on my own and fill out all the insurance information by myself. It will be my first doctor’s appointment I scheduled and will go to on my own.
• Went to the MVA and renewed my license on my own.
• Use a credit card instead of always asking my mother for cash.
• Have Chris and his family so I don’t have to always rely on my own family for everything.
• Go grocery shopping or clothes shopping on my own whenever I need to.
• Sign up for college courses on my own, arrange meetings with the guidance counselors on my own.

Things to work on:

• Arranging all of my doctor’s appointments on my own, and going to them without my mother with me. Including when I get my blood drawn and when I see my gynecologist. Also need to get to the dentist and I should do this on my own as well.
• Getting my prescriptions filled on my own. Should be easy, just take them to CVS and do it myself.
• Handling my bank account on my own. Including getting my checks from work cashed or into savings on my own. And arranging to have access to my bank account online.
• Getting more comfortable with driving places. Still anxious about things. I don’t want to rely on other people for rides when I can do it myself. I can use Google maps to plan things out, and I’ll get more comfortable the more I practice.

I’m continuing to grow more and more independent. I do pretty much everything on my own now. What I need now is to find a job, so I don’t need to always rely on my parents for money. And I need to learn to schedule and go to doctor’s appointments on my own. Right now these are the main things that I’m relying on my parents for and need to learn to do on my own.

With each new experience I feel myself becoming more independent. Today I went to an appointment with my DORS counsellor on my own, an appointment that I actually called and scheduled myself. Called in and made an appointment with my academic supervisor. I’m very proud of myself. I want to be self-reliant, and not need my parents for everything, and I’m moving steadily in that direction. And it’s much easier and going more quickly than I imagined it would.

I did successfully sign up for my class on my own yesterday, and bought the book. woohoo. Now what I want is to do it myself next time I need a prescription refilled…

Last time I went with my mother, and didn’t like how she answered all the questions for me and didn’t let me talk to the counselor like I wanted to. So now that it’s time to register for classes again, I’m going to do it on my own. I’m trying, really trying, to be independent. I’m twenty, and I need to learn to do this stuff on my own. I’ve gotten over a lot of my social anxiety, so I know I can do it on my own now. And I will.

I cannot let my mother come with me when I need to get things done. Like when I visited the academic adviser at the college a few days ago. Whenever I’m asked a question, she answers. She does all the talking for me, and is always trying to guide me along. She still thinks of me as a shy little girl who needs to be taken care of, and I just can’t stand it. It’s belittling. I don’t need that anymore, and I don’t know how to make that clear to her. I don’t see how she hasn’t realized it herself.

A small step, but significant. I’ve been going out on shopping trips on my own. And I don’t feel anxious at all. This is good.

I am more independent now than I have ever been in my life. But there are still things I need to work on. I’ve steadily been getting over my fear of driving. I’ve been driving myself to my therapy sessions, and handling them on my own. I can stay out with my friends all night with no problem. I don’t mind going out shopping alone, though it still makes me a little anxious. Right now what I most need to do is get a good job so I can become self-sufficient and stop relying so much on my parents.

My ticket to independence? A car + a driver’s license!
Now I just need a job…