get over my social phobia

Being in a social situation no longer causes the intense anxiety it used to, where I couldn’t do anything because I was so frozen up and all of my attention was on this intense fear I felt. Now that that’s out of the way I’m starting to work on my actual social skills, I can develop them now that the debilitating anxiety is out of the way. I’m not completely comfortable in social situations, but I don’t think it’s at the level of a phobia anymore. I think I can finally list this goal as completed!

Six months since I started going to anime club once a week, and seeing my therapist every two weeks. These two things are still the only social contact I have.

There have been some positive changes. I feel much less anxiety going to my club meetings. Sometimes I surprise myself with how I can do things so easily without even thinking about them. I do still feel alone and out of place most of the time, but I’m very, very slowly starting to make friends.

Most significantly, I look forward to these meetings every week. In the past I’ve always completely dreaded any social occasion. Now I look forward to the chance to be around people, even if it will cause anxiety, because it’s a chance to work through this problem.

I’ve been socially isolated for so long, but I’m ready to make changes now.

Last week I went to the first meeting of the semester at the Animation Club at a local college. Of course I was extremely anxious, but also very determined. I had to force myself to speak, but I did it. I didn’t always express myself as clearly as I’d like, but just speaking at all was a huge achievement. Amazingly enough, there were people there who spoke less than I did. Overall, it went very very well.

The next meeting is tomorrow, and I’ve been looking forward to it all week. This is the best chance I have at making friends. And I know once these people get to know me, they’ll like me and appreciate me.

It seems my life is finally, finally moving in a positive direction, and I have something to be optimistic about. Hopefully I’ll have more good news to report soon. :)

Also, anyone with anxiety disorders might want to check out http://www.anxietytribe.com, a social-networking site for people with anxiety problems. I just joined recently and it seems helpful.