create artsy, technic, mechanic, electronic design items

i thinki am in depression or sth. i tought i was out but may be not.. i bought two sensors to do a skirt that makes sound..months ago..i bought a hosting and domain to get me motivated to do posts i like and things i do .. to design it.. months ago.. i do nothing.. i do not touch it.. those fragile sensors and microcotllors are under aheap of things on my desk left to dust and get broken.. :(

ialiughed at my last post..i am learning ableton yes.. just one day puruse.. is there so many things or is it that i am adhd i dunno. or i am reallyout of time..

i cahnged my priority again..
cyborwogie sitting.. ableton sitting.. midi controller sitting..

i foudn finally a place tobuy sonserswhich is not cheap and bought an accelero and a gyro.. i wil experiement with them whenthey come..

now i need to get a rf link thing. betweenmyarduino and laprtop and bendsensor for usage at home if i find.

and another arduino may be beucase one free at home is not mine..

ok i have to get my mind settled a bit.. there are a lot of thingds i want to do and NONE of them is necessary!!! and i can not do anything. ahahah just when i got mania sitting from place to place and chasing my tail.. i know the mood and the pattern lets do something constructive tomanage this..

So lately,
i had had a surgery soo it is pass now and quitting smoking and gaining weight.. this is past and has to be solved at the background cause my brain has not resource to think about it.. sooo do not thin about it.. just run eat less,do nto smoke blabla.. this is the surrounding condition i am in .. which gives a drawback to me as well)

hackerspace building has been gievn a halt it seems it has to wait.. soo lets focus oncreating things now.. i have to contact a’s e.e at oen point tooo.. we were supposed to meet last month!! i have to squeeze this in..

i have to build a website and provide content in it.. which i do nto know what the heck can i put.. ahahahah tutorials, things done, things i do , terms, events, music.. etc

i have to colloborate to this project

i have to finish my cyberwogie and midi controller

i have to finish my wearbale midi controller at least start

ihave to focus on musical jacket and toys

i want to learn ableton

right now i am doing the least irrelevant.. :D:D learnign ableton:D:D

ok i wanted to finish my cyborwogie shit before i do a midi controller.. but the mechanic of the3 eyes did not work .. it needed tuning and i gave up building the software again.. i will return to that lkater.. i hoppppeeee.. and i want to make a blog about my projects as you nerds oput there.. hehe i do not have a digital camera tough to take pics.. ironic it come to me all of a sudden but it is true..

anyway .. i put aside the cyborwoogie.. now i bought another arduino.. i do not know much cc but the thing visualized in my mind that there will be a virtual midi controller in max msp it will be connected to ableton and max msp will be controlled with arduino in reality.. i did not understand clearly i tihnk because i can not find an example of max msp patch for virtual controller..lets go back to work.. this was self interruption session.. i will burn my interrupt signal..

ok i said i crashed all the sopftware in my new laptop. no back ups.. nooow after all this weeks i have to do it again.. i satrted. i am carrying my laptop with me. i will start to do it this noon in my lunch break.. at nights i was not able to concentrate ..was paranoiabluestiredness.. i am unbelivable really.. how i can suck my energy thinking.. i am still not able to say it was stupid.. balhhh.. lets ignore.. where were we.. i will do the software part so i can advance doing a midi controller for my bf which he is obsessing about..

ok i have created an interactive installation.. it was intended for a techonology art festival un-cyborgable.. i could not finish at time so my stuff was not on the festival.. which is preety ok for me because the intention was to make a crisp deadline for my lazy ass. it worked.. it is a mannequin body with a latex mask chin and eyes moving.. music.. hand input … closeness.. frequency of intercation.. lights and an aquairum.. it is based on driving the installation in mood states like chaos peace madness neutral etc.. it loos good.. ahahah and then my laptop crashed and all the software written is gone .. max/msp arduino.. my alzy ass does not want to build it again but i will.. and i am a bit easy going i guess i did not ever thouight of backing up the software.. but it happened soon after it was finished..i worte it soo fast under a kind of relevation that i do not remember how was it exactly.. if the time passes more i will not be able to understand anyway..i should do it soon.. at least the hardware is still there.. hahaha unless there happens a fire or collapse and it is gone too.. anyway this was sth.. i do not feel like i have achieveda anything or i my road is sooo open .. even i was thinking that was a great milestone for me before it was finished.. actually my stupid brain is moving to areas other than interactive installation.. i guess i will not be able to stop swinging from ideas to ideas and not doing anything.. soooo in short.. i should make the software again.. and then we will seeeeeeeee..

or compartment
or or.. a place .. people .. sahre create.. paint..

but saying this does not bring it probably.. 2 motnhs ago i swtiched to mani o travelling. i did see several places.. i am still looking where else to go.. the satisfaction from mani took hold of and i can not be thriled with the idea back..i am maknig tricks to myself to remember.. afterall ,this period is not so productive regarding temperature., events, gis, festivals, etc. and economic crisis, i should spend less.. and may be travel i the summer if i am not affected by the crisis..

right now i am sitting at home.. doing unpoductive stuff going out.. shopping and drinking outside.. spending money on worthles things.. the thing i ahve to do is finish my project.. even it does not lead me anywhere.. i should put it aside.. and see where it leads me.. and if i am thrilled again, move on when the energy of theGaia is back , this time with a finished project at hand.. this is it.. but knowing what to do does not lead me doing that.. lazyyyyyyy

i have a project. i was searching for schools related to that major. physical interactive design. i found one .. was not abel to attend to.. they asked me so much.. then i was allowed but i didi not go there.. it was during working hours anyway.. i found a second school. they were so welcoming.. then thay said they will contact me in a motnh they are creatig a laboratory.. i didi not contacted again.. oh my gosh.. even if this was nto enough a festival was lead in here.. i attended to many of them and a workshop.. in the workshop i met the organizers who are people in the business.. i kinda became friends.. 3 of the guys were in the industry.. i was invited to their place which is abroad.. soo if i ever do something worthy.. there are several people interested and is willing to help me.. make it in a show.. and i still do not do anything.. work is totally irrelevant and it is soooo busy.. when i come home i am sucked and i do basicly nothing at all.. i am soooo lazy.. i bought several stuff to make the project.. i should by my sensors when i go to italy since there are none here.. yess. but there are a lot i shoudl learn.. puredata, sound pysics, some dj ing.. aahhhhhhhhhhhh .. i a ma clever girl.. i just need to get my hands on it.. but i am soooo tired and work is soooo busy.., i know i am making excuses.. i wish i was not a wanna do it all and basicly wish i could isolate and plan my motives and missions.. balhhh.. universe could not have helped me more.. and look at you.. shame on youuuuuuuu

combining to make a picture.. i was introduced into circuit ebnding.. then all of a sudden someone said pure data.. universe is bringing me images to combine. from different channels.. me even not asking.. but the girl is too lazy to do anything.. i can not believe all i hear match perfectly.. so why the fuck i am sleepy and out of energy.. DO iT