be more punctual, stop being late all the time

I’m okay with my timeliness (or lack thereof) patterns. And I think G is okay with them too now. I’m not late all the time. In fact, I am ridiculously early for work every day. If there’s a line-up to get in somewhere, then I am the one who makes sure we get there early. But I don’t care about being timely when I don’t appreciate the point of watching the clock. So what if I show up at a dinner at someone’s house 15 minutes late? Surely they will find something to occupy the time. But I won’t keep you waiting 15 minutes if I’m picking you up somewhere. I know you don’t want to be hanging around with nothing to do. It’s all about how your relationship with time is going to affect other people.

I think this issue was really about G & I growing as a couple. And I think we’re past this. Thank goodness.

My wonderful bf thinks I’m a crackpot because of the things I do that make me late. He saw me stop to top the blooms on my rosebush as I was leaving my place and since then he hasn’t been as laidback about my perpetual lateness. He said he feels as though he’s not a priority for me.

I don’t want him to feel that way, but I also don’t like how this feels to me – trying to change the way I am to make him feel better in the relationship. Oh that sounds so cold but there is something about this that rubs me a little in the wrong way.

So here’s my compromise: I’m going to become better at estimating my arrival time. If I can make this change then I still get to go at my own pace and he knows when to expect me. Now all I need to figure out is how to do it.