have normal sleep hours

I had to “babysit” someone’s cat this past week, so I had to be up at a normal hour to feed the cat. This cat-induced regularity was very nice, I went to bed between 23:30 and 1:00 all week (one exception of 2:00, but still not that bad), and got up between 8:00 and 10:00 every day. Now I need to hold on to this and improve it.

After the previous post things got back to my bad rhythm very soon. Tonight I had another sleepless night, not planned this time, but same result. I’m feeling really happy and positive though, mostly because it’s spring and sunny and full of birdsong outside :)

In a final effort to shake things up, I stayed up all night tonight. I’m feeling fine right now, and I hope and expect that I’ll be able to go to bed somewhere between 21:30 and 23:00, and that way get back to a normal rhythm. I know it’s not the best way to fix this, but I’m just trying to see if it will work.

Edit: went to bed at 22:30, fell asleep immediately. This morning sooo tired, couldn’t get up, got up at 12:00. I let myself get used to an average of 12 hours sleep, got to wean off that…

Well, I kept track for a week, and it’s clearly not going so well. In order to switch things around and get my going-to-bed time to the double digits, and my getting-up time to the single digits, I need to actively change things. It will not get better magically. Even if I manage to do okay for a week, I still need to work on this consciously. I just re-read my past entries for this goal, and it’s just sad. I’ve been struggling with this for years.

Often I want to get up in the morning, but I just feel soooo tired, and then I give up. Changing the evenings seems like a more doable thing. If I can go to bed before 0:00 for a while, I can start getting more sleep on regular hours, and I will get out of bed easier.

So, new plan: for now, focus only on going to bed before 0:00.

It’s all gone crazy again during the last month-and-a-half. My biorhythm is completely out of order. Sleeping from 6:00 to 15:00 is not unusual. In order to get back on track, I will first try to keep track. Writing down exactly how bad things are is the first step.

Mon>Tue: 6:30 – 10:30 (had an 11:00 appointment)
Tue>Wed: 0:30 – 8:55 (wow, that’s suddenly quite normal!)
Wed>Thu: 1:45 – 9:45 (not too bad)
Thu>Fri: 2:30 – 11:30 (I read too long last night)
Fri>Sat: 3ish? – 12:45 (bweh)
Sat>Sun: 3:55 – 11:00 (only got up because of urgent todo item)
Sun>Mon: 4:55 – 15:30? (lowest point this week)

I can be pushed in the wrong direction so easily… Discovering a new game, listening to the radio, coming home late from a party, anything can push me into changing my bedtimes to ridiculous hours. Is my biorhythm really so weird that that’s my normal rhythms, or is it laziness, or WHAT? I hate this :( I’ve had some bad weeks and I really hope to turn things around. I’m off to my parents for Christmas, and a mini-holiday afterwards with friends. Hopefully being around people for about a week will help me adjust again.

Last week started out very well, but in the weekend I had two late night out of my control, and then my rhythm (and self discipline) were out the window. New week, new attempt: IN bed before 12, OUT of bed before 8:30.

Edit: dreadful week so far, but I’m off to my parents for a while now, so that should shake things up.

Keeping track:
wed>thu: in 2.45, out 9.00
thu>fri: in 4.30, out 16.30 (ehm…? what…?)
fri>sat: in 5.30, out 9.30 (FIVE? ridiculous!)
sat>sun: in 4.30, out 9.30 (pfff)
sun>mon: in 4.40, out 17.55 (yeah. I know.)
mon>tue: in 4.00, out 14.00 (but progress coming soon!)
tue>wed:

My going to bed is not that messy, although it can still be a lot better. Most nights I’m in bed somewhere between 12 and 1, and never much later.

It’s the getting up part that is dreadful. The last few days I stayed in bed for hours and hours after my alarm clock went, getting out of bed as late as 1 or 2 PM… And not getting up at a normal hour has a huge influence on my day: I can’t eat 3 normal meals, I don’t go running, I feel bad about myself from the moment I get up, etcetera…

So I need to focus on this again. I can do this. Goal for now: IN bed before 12, OUT of bed before 8:30.

Keeping track:
wed>thu: in 23.35, out 7.45
thu>fri: in 0.00, out 8.30
fri>sat: in 0.55, out 10.15 (couldn’t help in, out too late)
sat>sun: in 2.30, out 11.30 (couldn’t help in, really tired)
sun>mon: in 2.30, out 13.30 (both in and out very bad)
mon>tue: in 2.30, out 13.20 (dreadful! COME ON! I CAN DO THIS!)
tue>wed: in 2.30, out 14.45 (screwed up biorhythm…)

Okay, let’s evaluate the past week. The getting up part went well most of the time. There’s an obvious difference between running days and non-running days… And the last 2 days I didn’t make it: on Wednesday I felt really bad, and this morning I kind of forgot to get up when my alarm clock went off…

The going to bed part didn’t go as bad as I expected. On Thursday I lost an internal struggle, I really should’ve been able to go on time that day. On Monday I would have allowed myself to go to bed later because of Monday night drinks, but I was home before twelve, so I could have made it, but I felt really bad.

New goal for the next week: I’m moving both times 15 minutes earlier so: I hereby promise that I will definitely be in bed before 11:45 during the next week and that I will definitely be out of bed before 8:45.

Keeping track:
thu>fri: 0.45 and 10.30 (that was just laziness…)
fri>sat: 23.35 and 7.35
sat>sun: 23.35 and 12.15 (uhm… yeah…)
sun>mon: 23.45 and 11.50 (why do I feel so tired all the time?)
mon>tue: 0.50 and 11.30
tue>wed: 0.55 and 14.30 (don’t ask…)

I have to focus on this goal. It’s my main problem, and it has such an enormous influence on everything else…

I hereby promise that I will definitely be in bed before 12 during the next week and that I will definitely be out of bed before 9. Of course I would prefer to make both times a bit earlier, but I don’t want to get really disappointed if I can’t make it. So this is goal number 1, and I’ll see how it goes and where to go from there…

Keeping track:
wed>thu: 23.55 and 7.45
thu>fri: 0.40 and 8.40 (convinced myself to finish comp game)
fri>sat: 0.55 and 7.40 (had a party)
sat>sun: 23.45 and 8.45
sun>mon: 23.55 and 8.05
mon>tue: 0.55 and 8.55 (monday drinks + feeling bad)
tue>wed: 0.00 and 11.30 (or something like that… :( )
wed>thu: 0.03 and 9.19