overcome my fear of spiders

They keep showing up where I would least expect them, perhaps it’s why they scare me so much. This time I went to find internet connection… So I found a free table with internet wires (apparently not wireless) and connected it. I opened my screen just a few minutes ago, and the first thing that pops up is a SPIDER crawing from around the side and onto my keyboard.

Where the hell did it come from…?! I just GOT here.

Anyway, of course this occurred near other people. My reaction is to jump out of the way and scream. I’ve been doing this since I was 10 years old and it’s not changing. I can see myself being a 90-year old woman jumping out of her rocking chair (with the smelly cats on my lap) because a spider just made its’ special appearance.

And that will be the death of me. Little bastards!

They say confronting your fear is the way to beat it… I can’t see myself ever doing this. Isn’t there a way to immediately banish all spiders within 100 feet of me at all times? Can’t I get a power like this?

Why is it that they lurk in the creepiest of places, then show up in the most random of places, moreso than any other creature/bug/thing?

I was cleaning the bathroom floor today (gross, right?) and was thinking about where that spider went that scared the daylights out of me the day before by crawling up the wall behind the door. Out of fear and spasm, I obviously tried to kill it. But like every arachnephobic is afraid of, it falls, doesn’t die, and you can’t find it anywhere.

So today I stood up from scrubbing after wondering where it was lurking and met face-to-face with the intruder, as if he was getting back at me for trying to kill him. Why right after thinking of it? Why are they seemingly capable of reading my mind so that they can continue to defeat me?!

And again, this is why spiders are the scariest things on the planet. Something is not right about the 8-legged little jerks.

I can handle snakes (I used to own reptiles), cockroaches, centipedes—whatever, without being affected at all. But spiders? I’m terrified no matter what the size. Some people think I’m just afraid because it seems ‘popular’ to be… but that’s ridiculous as the fear is something I can’t control and for people to believe that it’s not a real present fear…it makes me want to overcome it more.

And, seriously, why is it that arachnephobia is the most common phobia?

The strangest thing is probably that I haven’t always been afraid of them [spiders]. When I was little, I loved them. I thought it was awesome how everyone thought they were creepy and gross, while I just thought of them as interesting.

The worst case scenario:
I was in the 7th grade, eating lunch with my friends in the basement of our school (the cafeteria was underground—furnished, but underground). So spiders were a bit more common there than anywhere else. My friend looked at the table and said “ew” and my other friends seemed to react the same… but then I saw it: a tiny black spider the size of an ant. That was all it took to send me jumping out of my seat, screaming loud enough to get the attention of the entire grade 7 lunch room (about 200 students). A boy from the next table came over and laughed once he realised that it was a tiny spider. He killed it, and I shreiked again. WHY!? I’m never the type to end up causing a scene… but that will change when there’s a spider involved.

I hope I get over this, but I’m not sure how I will.