forgive

we all slip once in a while.

it is hard for me to resist his boy charms, which seem to be inversely related to how much attention i pay him. just when i am feeling confident in my decision to move forward with my life, find my soulmate, and live happily ever after, he becomes the adorable man i fell in love with. madness! at least i have a sense of humor (and balance) about the whole thing. and i’m still learning lots about myself, him and relationships.

is not so amazing after all, but i forgive him for shredding my beloved field hockey ball (rub my foot out on it). i forgive myself for forgetting who he is (a dog) and leaving it on the coach.

for falling for his adorable cuteness last weekend. many moments of weakness later, it hits me…i’m sad. this is not what i want to settle for.

i forgive him for whatever is stopping him from moving forward. i forgive myself for losing myself. i need to know that to find a stable person i need to be stable to myself…to be there, to be me all of the time, in or out of a relationship.

procrastinating on soem key things: quickbooks, taxes and sending my graphic artist my marketing materials. i will get it done.

we are now 2 months into a very intense, hit the ground running relationship and running into the first roadblock. this has come up 3 or 4 times and maybe i am being unreasonable.
scott wakes up at 5 am to be at work at 6:30, with a 30 minute commute. i usually (but not always, ‘cause things are still slow) have a 7 am patient (commute 10-15 minutes), which means i should get up at 6.
problem is he snoozes 3 or 4 times, and this usually wakes me. either i can’t fall back asleep, or if i do, i am groggy (and grumpy) starting my day. and if i don’t get enough sleep, this really effects my work (i have to be 100% on with my patients) – i can’t problem-solve well.
we have switched sides of the bed (i got sick of hitting the snooze for him), and i’ve tried ear plugs, and i’ve tried to be less sensitive about it, but it’s a problem.
he feels that it is his house (true), and doesn’t want to feel like a guest in it. and he has made an effort (down from 4 to 5 snoozes) and doesn’t feel too sympathetic, because, after all, i’m the one who gets to “sleep” longer, and it’s my problem because i am a light sleeper. in other words, i should just deal, or else stay at my place to get more sleep (doesn’t seem like much of a long-term solution). i would prefer he doesn’t hit the snooze at all, and try to be more quiet in the morning.
i am going to forgive both of us for being stubborn on this, but it’s a problem. 43Ters, what should we do?

stolen snowboard, boots, ski boots (brand new), 2 snowshoes, poles, and the groceries too. damn, they even got the ritter sport. i forgive myself for leaving the stuff in the cab of the truck, forgive scott for suggesting that we do, and forgive the desperate bastards who did it.

for putting that gash in my tire, from my impetuous driving.

i have learned to forgive myself, but have a harder time forgivig others. if i forget my phone, or lose my keys, or forget to pay a bill, i can be kind to myself and understand that it might be because i have a lot on my mind, or have been doing too much. and i just let it go. but with others, especially those closest to me, it’s harder for me to let them just be human and fumble through their own mistakes. i’ve decided to start by practicing with rude drivers. i forgive you for cutting me off…