not to talk to my dick like to a child

I really have to stop talking to Elvis like to a child or to my dog. He deserves this. He never let me down. He’s good friend of mine. I love to sing him that Tenacious D song “Dear Penis”. He often sings me back ” Dear Blaise”. I know what he likes, so I take him only to plcaes he will enjoy. Most of times he really does.
Anyway I should really change the way I speak to him!