After having a fight with my parents a few weeks back, my mom suggested that it might help me to talk to my grandfather. He lives a ways out in the country, so I don’t see him too often. But I went out to talk to him, and I’m really glad I did.
He gave me a bit of advice about not stressing. I’m not sure if I can explain it properly, but he pretty much said that I have to make myself realize that so much of what I worry about just isn’t significant. He says that to put things in perspective, he sometimes imagines himself in space- slowy drifting away from the earth until everything is essentially gone- and he can realize how little all those little problems matter in the scheme of things.
My best friend Ben has always tried to explain that to me… only when he tells me, he just says “You just can’t care about shit.” My grandfather’s explanation was a lot more in depth, but it helped me realize what Ben meant.
I’ve always had issues with the little things- like when people do things that bother me, I feel the need to let them know. Either by telling them, or letting it show that I don’t like it, I’ve always felt the need. I guess my rationality was that it might help them fix themselves, or something… which is silly, because now I see that I’m the one that’s needed fixing. It’s hard to explain, but it feels almost as if I’m final realizing that not everyone has the same perceptions I’ve always had of people- and that I’ve just been projecting my ways onto others, assuming that they’re the same. It’s weird to think that I’ve been the one that’s been mistaken all this time. hm.
Anyway. It’s been just two weeks since I’ve gotten all of this figured out, and I feel like I’m a better person already. I’m afraid to think that going back to school may trigger another down-slide, because school’s always had that effect on me. Every summer things seem to fix themselves, but high school always seems to reverse all the good I’ve done. x_x
One thing’s for sure, though: I’m going out to see my grandpa Max at least once a month from now on.
