Explore emotion

Not contentment
Not joy
Not peace

HAPPINESS

It’s not elusive. It’s a decision. But it’s impossible with some people. Must have a variety of people and places to maintain some level of happiness. Extended solitude can produce many good things, but not happiness. Happiness… it’s easy. It comes to you, you don’t go get it. It comes to you when you don’t worry. When you have fun. Happiness is like… that analogy of just turning on the light to get rid of darkness… you can’t just get rid of darkness. It won’t work. The only way is to turn lights on. You gotta balance things, people. Cannot keep negative people in your life and keep wanting things youll never get from them.

SEVERELY affects my mood.

I found out that stuff doesn’t matter as much as I once thought it did. Life is easier and better when I put my emotions aside a little bit. Not ignoring or denying them, but not allowing them to control me. Now I feel the emotion, but I process the situation with my logic instead. It’s so much better! Being overemotional just puts a strain on everyone involved. This is another step in the journey – I’m learning how to balance things. How much emotion is good, and how much is too much, etc.

It’s amazing to me how strong the human person can be. I mean, people can go through a hell of a lot without cracking. It’s incredible. Suffering, abandonment… these are like torture. But even when the body can’t hold up, the human person can. That inner strength is amazing to me, how it’s pulled from so deep inside. Crazy.

True happiness can only be acheived… with alcohol. haha But for reals, happiness is when you are hanging out with your friends and doing whatever you want without worrying about anything.

Everyone knows happiness feels great – that laugh out loud happiness. Where you want to smile at strangers, even when something goes wrong. As if you were laughing at yourself. And you want it to last forever, but you find that even as you’re wishing it would, it is fading….

I’ve heard that lasting happiness should not be the aim of this life, because the person who tries this will always come up disappointed. Instead, everyone should strive to be peaceful, because that is the best we can hope to keep up for any sustained length of time. And it really makes sense – happiness is an extreme emotion that requires some sort of stimulant. But peacefulness is just a sort of contentment with life, which can happen as a result of all kinds of ordinary things. I say it’s better to be satisfied with peacefulness than to push for happiness because we remember life in moments, not in days or years. So even if we get “happy” every weekend or whatever, it won’t feel as good in retrospect as being at peace every day. And then while you’re at peace, you can still take the happiness as it comes. The best of both worlds!!

The things that make me sad are strange. Mostly things that aren’t outright saddening. Those things may make me cry (and probably will) but they don’t make me feel true sorrow. Regret and endings and things like that make me truly sad.

My goal is to approach life more with the attitude of Frank Sinatra in My Way:

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain….
I’ve lived a life that’s full…..
I did it my way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say – not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

Today’s topic? Frustration! I encounter this a lot thanks to there being other people on this planet. (esp. live-in grandmothers who have Alzheimer’s)
The way I used to deal with frustration was to cry, but hopefully that is a thing of the past. I’m learning slowly.