Never give up

it’s all i can do.
never gonna happen. i have to keep going, because i don’t really have a choice. sucicide is not an option. but i give up.

it’s all i can do.
never gonna happen. i have to keep going, because i don’t really have a choice. sucicide is nto an option. but i give up.

when everything comes to an end.
it’s that time.

for weight loss yesterday (the first of several sessions). and i went to the gym both days this weekend, after a several month haitus. it’s a start. today i feel psyched, but we have all been there, and it wanes pretty fast. so i hope i can keep up with it. would like to lose a pants size. that translates into about 30 pounds. will accept 20. i lost 70 about 2 years ago, gained some of it back. i did it then, i can do it again. i HAVE to do it. so lets hear it for NOT GIVING UP!

but i’m such a loser, it won’t happen….. but yet it feels so close. i think i see him everywhree. i don’t understand why i can’t have it, but i am close to accepting that i can’t.

to tell him to f-off, but i am advised not to just yet….and i have to go by what my “advisor” suggests. so i will follow her suggestions, i have nothing to lose, cause i never had anything in the first place. and i do so want something…. maybe i just don’t know how to go about getting it. i am open to suggestions.

this is killing me.

a new lease, and one last chance….

i don’t think i can give up right now. i am too close to it happening, IF it is going to happen. i waited this long, i can hang in there another month or two…it could happen….

something happens that keeps me hanging on.
and there is one more trick up my sleeves.