stop lying

It’s not as natural an instinct anymore. I hope that within a year, I can eliminate this for good.

I have to lie less to my parents. That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped lying to them completely.. there’s some things I still can’t tell them yet. But so much better than it was a few years ago. They know who my friends are and are more relaxed about where I go and who I’m with.

I lie less and less about daily things as well.. about meaningless things.

The greatest improvement though is lying less about how I feel. I still put up a front but I think that’s normal. Everyone does. My front isn’t as fake anymore though. I think I’m becoming a better person.

it’s still hard. sometimes it just comes out before i can help it. some i have to keep telling cause it’s been so long and that’s how people know me. but it’s gotten much better since the last time i wrote in.
i wish more than anything that i didn’t have to lie to my parents though. i do that on a regular basis only cause they wouldn’t approve of the things i do and my loud, outgoing, extroverted, open, crazy, loves-to-dance, has-tons-of-guy-friends-cause-i-get-along-better-with-guys personality. but i guess that’ll come in good time too.

It’s been hard. I’ve realized how wrong I’ve been and there are moments where I think of how stupid this whole thing is. I’ve reached the point where I don’t know the truth from lies.. from what really happened to what I made up. From who I really am and from the person I think I am and have created in an ideal world. I crashed and burned for a while. But I’m picking myself up. I still catch myself fibbing about little things every once in a while but I’m helping myself close that horrid chapter of my life. I’ve found I’m less insecure. And I’ve realized it feels good to tell the truth. I also know that some of my lies are so deep rooted that no one can know the truth about them. But I hope that they will be forgotten by others over time so I can finally be free of what I’ve gotten myself into.