rediscover the child i never was and become the woman i am meant to be

i watch you observing the game, so desperately wanting to be part of it, but so scared of not being accepted….so aware that you are somehow….differnt, and that’s such a big swear word! I want to pull you out of the corner, tell you to be quiet, no need for lies to protect yourself….be still and realise how special you are!

this is difficult to start – she was such a shy little thing, skinny and full of freckles, clumsy and a bit weird. she loved dressing up – and her mom actually allowed her to go out into public the way she liked – pink pinafore without a shirt underneath and black stockings! she loved old people, talking to them about their lives, visiting with them, but with her peers she was so awkward! Always felt she had to act a little bit differently than she would have liked to, just to fit in. her siblings didn’t get along with her either, and she might not have been that easy – always wanting to dictate the games, always needing to fight till she won! Weird little girl – have to stop feeling sorry for her and start adoring her for being so akward…..