Inspire myself

My cell phone banner says, “You did it Grl”.

Only two or three more “issues” to go, and I’ll feel like I am back where I need to be.

Unless you were born filthy rich, incredibly good looking, and super smart, in which case, I say, ummm, good for you. :)

A common misconception is that it’s women with low self-esteem who get caught up in bad relationships, especially if they are abusive, and the woman doesn’t leave. Of course, she must have low self esteem, why else would she stay? Case closed! Next social ill!

But I can speak from experience, not speculation, well meaning that it may be.

I have high self-esteem. I worked my ass off to get it, and I still have it. It may have been trampled on quite a bit, but it’s still here. I still love me.

I am so fucking amazed with myself, for coming out of it, waking up, and I’m still here, you know, me, the me I love is still here.

I’m bright, I’m a decent writer, I love to dance, I’m beautiful and sexy, compassionate and forgiving, I love kids and animals, and elderly people. I love love. I can cook, I can play piano….I do love myself, and every day I remember who I am more and more, and I take that grlnxtdr and hug and kiss each part of me as it resurfaces, and welcome myself back.

I’m lucky that I had built myself up so goddamn far before I went through that. Because there were times that I thought I could just let the house burn down around me, and I would be o.k. with that. And I have good self-esteem! I’m not depressed.

The abuser hates your self-esteem. It threatens him or her, and all attempts are made at diminishing it, because they want it, and don’t know how to get it, without stealing yours. It was my best weapon and my worst flaw within the context of abuse.

Some bad things happened for me today, that really screwed things up bigtime….but, I just figured out, I”M NOT DEAD! THAT DIDN”T JUST KILL ME!!

I’m alive, I can make things better….someone else out there has it much, much worse.

I’m ok.