follow through

unbelievable, yeah? i wrote the lyrics & animated this video:
(why can’t i embed video!?) LAST YEAR’S MODEL FOR VICE PRESIDENT!

usually i have an idea and never do anything with it. this time i brought it up to the band, nagged them about it, recorded some vox as a demo, etcetc and then obsessed over the video for three days. i felt really good while working on it & was so excited when it was finished. maybe a little manic. like i had created the best, smartest, most hilarious animation about the election ever.

i need to remember that finishing projects is fun.

i think i have gotten better at following through on:
- meeting up with flakey friends
- household/errand-type things
- keeping promises to others

i am still not working on personal projects. like exercising or applying for new jobs. i want to change the way i think about them – instead of dreading these projects, i should be excited to work on them. they will lead to new and exciting things, right? plus, i can do whatever i want in these projects, there is no one telling me what to do. yes, i am an adult, i can tell myself what to do: ‘get moving! you’ve seen this website before!’

i could get a lot more done if i just acted normal.

things that take me forever to do:
- make an impersonal phonecall – like to make a doctor’s appt or to correct the misspelling of my name on my health insurance card
- write an email
- order from a menu
- buy anything that costs over $30 that might be cheaper at another store
- get dressed in the morning (this is partly psychological and partly b/c the mirror is warped)

i’ve been setting a kitchen timer when i’m getting ready for work so that i don’t get sucked into reading stuff online or fussing with my hair. the alarm clock helps a little bit; i set it to 15-minute intervals.

also i need to get away from the computer. i spend my entire life in front of a monitor, which has never ever been one of my goals.

maybe that last entry was a little premature… most of the time i feel like i’m treading water, i spend all day doing normal, daily things, like go to work, socialize, occasionally exercise, pay bills, run errands, etc. & then i very often look forward to doing nothing.

like in the next 5 days there’s: 1. silkscreening w/friends, 2. karaoke, 3. a birthday party, 4. cupcake baking, 5. band practice [twice!], 5. a show in philly, 6. a photo shoot, 7. salsa class.

all these fun things jumbled together feels like a chore & makes me want to block out the next weekend for doing absolutely nothing. which i frequently do.

so. i’m going to pick two specific goals. um. not now, tomorrow. i have to put away laundry & take a shower first. and smoke a cigarette & throw out the rest.

so far it is working… 2 things a day is not so hard to do. they were small things (like writing a letter for a refund) that i’ve been putting off for a while. i also did yoga.

i’m not sure how to prioritize the things i want to make routine (like yoga). i suppose they will be high priority until they become a habit.

the book’s not half-bad, even if i don’t want to start an online business. one thing the author talks about is prioritizing by asking yourself:

1. if this is the only thing i accomplish today, will i be satisfied with my day?
2. what will happen if i don’t do this and is it worth putting off the important to do it?
3. am i inventing things to do to avoid the important?

so i want to try asking myself these questions before i plan my day. not that i usually plan my day. usually i’m running around frantically trying to run errands and meet ppl or i’m lounging around the apt, too lazy to even get a glass of water.

when i’m not actually wasting time, i often procrastinate by cleaning the apt & doing household chore errand type work. and then i take a break afterwards & then it’s too late to exercise or apply for jobs or whatever. so. i’m learning to waste less time (i hope this website actually helps me focus & isn’t just a nice way to rationalize websurfing) & do the important things first. and sometimes i ask my bf for help. and sometimes i say No when ppl invite me to events that don’t really interest me.