dress better

in an attempt to brainwash myself, i watched an entire dvd of “What Not to Wear” last night. most of the women being made over didn’t have my body type. but several had body types that looked difficult to shop for, and they all found clothes that worked. so maybe i just have to shop harder. the women all looked so happy at the end of the makeovers that it made dressing better seem worth it.

a couple of the women also had a tendency to shop the clearance racks. so they always wore really ugly, garish prints & colors. i think i have a similar problem where i limit myself to buying cheap clothes & end up with a dresser full of tshirts.

4 episodes later, lunchbox called to see if i wanted to get ice cream. i tried dressing up & wore a skirt & heels. and it was just like the show said! it doesn’t take much longer to put on nice clothes than it does to put on shlumpy clothes. i felt super self-conscious at first, even though i thought i looked good when i was at home & there were people more dressed up than me at the ice cream shop… i wonder how long it will take to feel comfortable in nicer clothes. especially without a team of stylists fluttering around, saying, “You look a-maaaa-zing!” :)

i just dumped out everything in my dresser. it’s all tshirts & most of the tshirts i have a solid colored/plain. i have some sweaters & button-downs as well, but they are also plain. this is going to take a lot of work.

i mean, i don’t want to look like daily outfit ppl, but i think i’ve somehow reverted to the way i dressed in elementary school.

this happens every wedding, i run around during lunch break & after work, looking for a dress to wear, and maybe some shoes. i end up with something ill-fitting or black (but cheap!) & i hafta run around like a madman for the next wedding.

this time i got a dark green dress from daffy’s ($35). i like it alright, except for the fact that it’s dark green & is a bit long. but i bought it, b/c i don’t feel like an alien wearing it. and it was cheap.

i spent all week looking for cheap shoes & a clutch to go with it. i decided that the accessories should be gold or bronze or something. i hit strawberry (2x), h&m (@ 3 different locations), afaze, express, payless, old navy etcetc. everything’s either the wrong color or it has rhinestones or lots of dangly, strappy things. so i went to some better stores—the gap, aldo, bloomingdale’s, macy’s, urban outfitters… but i still had that mental price block. so now i have no shoes or clutch to wear with my dress.

this is ok—i simply won’t match. but with all the time i spent running around during lunch, i could’ve just spent more money on the shoes & worked a little bit more (i get paid by the hour). dumb. this is a dumb mistake to keep making.

i wish how i dress/looked weren’t important to me. i think i try to deny it by not wearing anything other than tshirts & jeans. but i still feel very self-conscious, esp when going out at night. or at work. or at weddings.