not depend on him

I have a new technique that is incredible. When I walk by places that used to make me hurt, remember, obsess, become upset…

I now tell myself as I approach the location, “I can walk by this _ and not even care. I’m so much stronger now. It doesn’t even phase me. I can pass by it right now and I won’t feel anything, watch!”

And when I pass by it I smile and challenge myself, and it has worked well so far. It makes me really proud!

P.S. I’ve been dating more.

I’m not free.

It hurts now, from the OTHER guy!

I’m working on realising that this is all in my head, what happened happened in the PAST and today he is not here…so I should stop being hurt.

I had my pain, I want it done with.

SOMETHING needs to change. I know it’s me because I have no control over the other person and how they act.

I want to make changes and live a better life, so that the rest will fall into place. I want to be happier and more self-sufficient.

I don’t want to be depending on him…EVER again.

This is what my friend told me on the weekend.

Miraculously, it happened!

I hope I’m lucky. If anything, though, it teaches me that things can look up…you just don’t know when they will get better. There CAN be other men!

Well, yesterday I left a voicemail saying that I was going to move on. My words were something like, “What I want to have happen is not happening, and so I’m going to move on. So I hope it works out. Bye.”

I won’t talk to him anymore.

Not for a loooooooong time, I hope.

What he did—leading me on while carrying on a relationship with another girl—is not ok. Even if I don’t see it now, I hope to see it in a few days. As Olga said: he’s changed, and he’s not going to be how he used to be ever again. I deserve better.