Quit Smoking

I am proud of myself, it has been 24 hours. I dorve past numerous mini marts today, spent 8 hours ALONE, and actually entered the grocery store. I could have bought a pack of smokes and told myself I would quit another day, but I did not.
I’m coughing a lot already. I just hacked up a pretty big reminder of why I quit!

Well, I didn’t smoke my last cigarette in May of last year. I don’t remember when I picked up the filthy habit again, but I gave it up again last night. It’s been 10 hours with the patch- it’s going okay. I suspect I will write a lot of entries over the next few days, as I will have lots of extra time and need to take breaks without smoking.

I don’t dwell on this anymore. The fact is, I have had my last cigarette.

Yeah, I have slipped a couple times, but I continue to not smoke.
At this point I am off the patch, off the Zyban. I am wondering when I can consider this done.

I feel like nicotine’s jilted lover. As soon as I think I am over him, I see something that reminds me of the wonderful times we used to spend together- how he would comfort me and be my friend….so, lest I forget:
Cigarettes are a waste of money.
Cigarettes make me stink.
Cigarettes don’t make my cramps go away.
Cigarettes don’t cure PMS.
Cigarettes want me to die early.
Cigarettes give me headaches.
Smoking is gross.

I had a very stressful weekend. My father came to visit, and when he visits, nothing is simple.
More than twise, I thought very hard about going to the store for cigarettes, but I did not. I made the right choice, not the easy choice- and that doesn’t happen to me all that often.
So, yay for me, maybe I am growing up.

We went camping this weekend, and I knew it would be difficult for me- being outside, with beer….
I caught my husband cheating (sneaking tobacco), and that was all the inspiration I needed for a weekend of smoking. we made a pact that we would only use tobacco while camping. Yes, we understand that pact is as dumb as it sounds.
anyway, I smoked. My sinuses were clogged. My energy, gone.
Now, back to the real world- back on track, and it doesn’t seem too tough. I am worried that I might fool myself into thinking that I can have the occasional smoke with no consequence. It’s every quitter’s dream, isn’t it?

I have to figure out what made me want to smoke so badly, and figure out how to deal with it on my own. Camping has been my downfall before.

Last night I dreamed that I cheated. It was the first time I dreamed about smoking in a long time. Anyway, in my dream, I was having a pretty stressful day, and I was able to buy just one or two cigarettes. I couldn’t decide whether to smoke them or not, and then I woke up.
I woke up in sort of a bad mood, too. I think I was pissed at myself for thinking about cheating!
Other than that, things are going pretty well. I may be a bit more irritable, but that is getting better. The cravings aren’t bad at all. Even though it has only been two months since I quit, it seems like a lot longer than that. It feels like I have got this thing beat.

This gets easier and easier every day. I am starting to feel like a non smoker. My cravings are few and far between now, maybe one or two a day, and I find I can easily distract myself.

If I have `just one,` I will be back where I started. Where I started is desperately wishing I could be where I am today.

On a runner’s message board, posted by plumbcrazy.