open my email without being afraid

.... I just read 5 scary emails in a row. It was the Batman analogy… amazing….

I’m literally sweating because of it, but still.

... this difficult conversation: the first question was minor and it’s past. The second question is out of the way but I can’t read the response because more than likely we disagree, or, worse, she agrees with me but isn’t interested, which is very likely.

My luck with women is bad. Will this be an exception? What if it isn’t? What if it all goes wrong?

Fear again.

... over 700 emails read towards my 1000 goal. I have an especially difficult conversation to have with a girl I’m interested in.

I need to find out if she’s pro-choice or pro-life, because if we disagree there’s no point in asking her out. Meanwhile, there’s no guarantee she’s interested in the first place.

Gah! Fear!

... getting better about this one. On the flip side, I’m starting to be afraid of doing the dishes (yeah, I know).

...yesterday after I opened an especially difficult email from my boss. I did it by accident, so I don’t feel like I earned it exactly, but it was probably a step, however unwilling.

.... getting better; opening email from my boss without quite as much hesitation. I’m not sure if that’s the meds, but I’m glad for it, regardless.

I’m rereading that email I was afraid of, to get more mileage out of it; I read an email I was afraid of from a person who’s email I’m afraid to read now, and so I inoculate myself against that person, to some degree.

Or… I just spent time being overly analytical.

Got an email read that I needed to read. Was offered a delicious dessert if I did, and I almost didn’t out of spite. But I realized that a good idea doesn’t get less good just because you don’t like where the idea came from.

... I had two important emails to read, and one from a friend. I had to get my brother to read the first two, so I could find out the gist of them. Way embarrassing.

I worked on some basic “positive reinforcement” stuff to get over my fear, but I think it’s going to take more than one day’s work. (obviously)

I ended up reading one because I kept all three emails open while I did something else, and I accidentally read the most important one. So I dealt with the most important part, which is good, even if I did it by accident.

... I was afraid to open my email, for whatever reason. For almost 6 months, I hardly checked my email because I got too stressed out. I currently have one email that I’m avoiding because of fear, and there are probably others that I’m not as conscious about. I guess this is related to the anxiety/panic stuff, so hopefully this will go away when that does.