Well, I went to the attorney yesterday. I feel sooooo much better now.
Worst case scenario, he files for divorce and interim custody, files a restraining order and gets me kicked out of the house. My lawyer said the longest that would go on would be 10 days. Then we’d see a judge.
And most likely, the judge would reverse everything, giving me custody and the house. Because judges don’t like children being used as pawns.
Second worse case scenario, we get going with the whole divorce thing and I end up with half of everything and shared custody.
More likely scenario, I get half of everything, the house until my son is 18yo, and full custody with visitation for dad. And child support and alimony until I’m done with school.
So, I feel a million times better. I’m a very “big picture” kind of person. I need to have all the options and possibilities laid out for me. So this was very comforting.I was really worried about 2 possibilities.
- I always thought that whoever filed first got the best stuff. Not so. They may have everything for a few weeks until it gets to a judge. Then things will change.
- I was worried about being able to afford attorney’s fees, because his parents are loaded and will bring out the big guns for him. The sharks. My lawyer has been a family friend for many years, and said not to worry about it. He’ll make sure I can afford it. Not that it won’t be expensive. It’s possible that he would have to pay my attorney fees.
Because I live in a no-fault state, the infidelity won’t play a role in the actual divorce. We’ll negotiate with his lawyer to get what we want. Then, at the end, if he balks at something, like the house or what not, we’ll say “ok, let’s go to trial. Oh, and by the way, we have X Y and Z (all the receipts, pics, etc).” And he’ll probably back down.So, my new plan is as follows.
- Continue gathering my evidence.
- At some point in the near future, I’ll confront him.
- What happens after that is anyone’s guess.
My lawyer also gave me advice on documenting our assets, told me to get a job, save money, get my own accts, a safe deposit box, and maybe a counselor.