This has been a long time in the making... — 4 months ago
I have so many good things about myself, but I feel like a freak because I feel I have so much wrong with me. Logically, I don’t have much more wrong with me than the average person, but I don’t want to be average. I want to be above average.
1) My hair: it’s too short, ends are dead but I don’t want to cut it any shorter.
2) My acne: I’m 22 and I still break out.
3) My skin is too dry on my face. It’s always peeling and flaking.
4) I think I have a lazy eye. Plus my vision is awful. I should get new glasses/contacts.
5) My pores are too big and pronounced.
6) I have too much facial hair. Gray upper-lip. Furry cheeks. Black whiskers on my chin.
7. My neck sits funny on my shoulders. Must be the bad posture.
8) My shoulders are too wide.
9) My arms are dry and hairy. I have red bumps on the backs of my arms year-round.
9) My hands are dry, and my palms are always red and deeply creased. They are my biggest embarrassment.
10) My breasts are too big and hairy.
11) My back has splotches of eczema.
12) My lower back is hairy.
13) My backside is hairy, bumpy, and dry.
14) Same with my girl-parts.
15) My thighs are pasty white, covered in ingrown hairs and stretch marks, and hairy.
16) Shaving makes it worse. I have scars from shaving ingrown hairs.
17) My knees are funky and they pop and crack.
18) My left hip always pops and shifts out of place.
19) My calves are abnormally large.
20) My lower legs are not only dry, but scaly.
21) My feet are DISGUSTING. They are always red, cracked, often bleeding, dry, and callused.
22) My right big toe is ingrown and disgusting.
23) My pinky toes don’t grow in right.
24) My toenails are unhealthy.
25) My feet are enormous (size 9.5-10 and I’m only 5’4”)
26) My feet hurt often, the bones don’t seem to sit right.
27) I am 25 pounds overweight.
28) I hate my cheeks. They are so big and fatty.
29) My natural hair color is dull, but I’m afraid to color it again.
30) My shoulders pop.
31) I get tendinitis in my elbows and knees.
32) My teeth are too close together to floss.
33) I have cavities I haven’t gotten filled.
34) One of my front teeth is yellow and chipped.
35) I don’t command respect.
36) I am annoyed by loud noises.
37) I don’t voice my opinion.
38) I try too hard at everything I do.
39) I don’t take criticism very well.
40) I always find things about myself that I want to change.
41) I always wish I was doing things better.
42) I don’t feel attractive and I can’t rationalize why my boyfriend still loves me.
43) I NEED reassurance.
