be more outgoing

So far, this hasn’t worked too well. It’s hard to be someone you’re not. I thought that maybe I was really close to being that other person. But I’m not. I’m just quiet and that’s who I am. I don’t want to talk about your “great” stories or your kids or your dog. I really don’t care. I would really rather just be left alone. I was reminded that getting close to people opens yourself up for being hurt and rejected. I don’t like it.

This is how I will start:

Say hello to people in the elevator and people I pass going in to work.

Go out to lunch with a group of people instead of eating at my desk.

Accept invitations to things I ordinarily would not because I knew I would not be comfortable.

Step out of the comfort zone at least once a day.

I think that’s a good start. Wish me luck!

I am torn between two ideals:

1.) You should love yourself for who you are. The quiet me.

2.) You should embrace change and better your life. Can people really change? Stay tuned…

I was reading some other entries and people are talking about using alcohol to become outgoing. DON’T DO IT! This is from personal experience. I used alcohol for social reasons. Sure, it works for a while. You become outgoing, you’re talking to everybody. But after a while it becomes a crutch and you start depending on it for every social function. Suddenly, you find yourself drinking too much. You’re no longer the life of the party, but the laughing stalk of the party. You don’t remember the good time you had because you drank too much. You don’t remember people you met because you drank too much.

Drinking makes you less inhibited. For the females out there, this is dangerous. This can lead you into situations that you may end up regretting later.

Drinking and driving DO NOT mix! This could lead to fines, jail time, and on the extreme side, murder. Don’t do it.

The people who like to be around you only when you are drunk are not your real friends. Know the difference.

That’s enough of my lecture, for now.

I don’t have a hard time talking to strangers. I think this is because there is so much to find out about them. It is when these people become acquaintances. I find there is nothing to talk about. I am telling myself to say something, but nothing comes out. The more I pressure myself the more I come up with nothing.

So when I know I will be around acquaintances I try to come up with a few subjects to talk about before hand, hoping that these will develop into other subjects. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.

I’m generally okay when I’m one on one, it’s when I get in groups that I disappear. I find it difficult to speak up, or take control of the conversation.

I’m not much for small talk. I like to talk about things that have meaning. I am deep. I am finding that the majority of people are not. I don’t really care about what actor is dating who or what athlete was arrested for what. These are the types of things I find that most people talk about. I think I am this way because my parents were this way. Most of what my dad talks about to his friends are the controversial issues like politics and religion. People’s beliefs.

Sometimes I feel like I’m watching television, just watching everyone else and not really contributing.

I think maybe it’s because I’m the youngest child and grew up having people speak for me.

I’m more introverted. I think about things A LOT. I wonder “why” a lot.

1.) I’m tired of people telling me that I’m quiet or reserved.
2.) You have to be a people person to get ahead.
3.) People like being around outgoing people.
4.) I need to speak up in business meetings.
5.) People think I am antisocial, not friendly and even stuck-up.