spread the word

I don’t often share those forwarded humorous emails that show up in everyone’s mailboxes, but I got this one and knew an entry under my “spread the word” goal is the place for it…

Every 14th of February men get the chance to display their fondness for their wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

Secretly…guys feel left out. That’s right…left out. There’s no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their lives. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. This is why a new holiday has been created.

March 20th is now officially “Steak, Blow Job & Shut the F@ck Up Day”.

Simple, effective and self-explanatory…this holiday has been created so the ladies can have a day to show their man just how much they love him. You may not have heard about it yet because Hallmark is not promoting it. No cards, no flowers, no flashy gifts, no special nights on the town. The name of the holiday explains it all…just a steak, a BJ, & shut your mouth for the rest of the day! That’s it!

This twin pairing of Valentine’s Day and Steak, Blow Job & Shut the F@ck Up Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It’s like a perpetual love machine.

The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.

The Bush Administration is the worst in the history of the United States. It has waged war on the American middle class, it has trampled on the Constitution, it has turned surplus into deficit, it has abandoned the moral high ground that we had occupied in international affairs for decades. The expression, “as American as apple pie” has been replaced with “as American as waterboarding.”

In 2006, the electorate sent a message that we are tired of politics as usual and want a change in Washington. We elected Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress. And what have we seen since then? Congressional cowardice—a complete lack of resolve to bite the bullet when necessary to effect a real change of direction. The Congressional approval rating of 22% reflects the Nation’s intense disappointment in our elected officials.

Do you feel the despair for this country that I do? If so, please consider this.

In the next election, do not vote for an incumbent.

Voting for an incumbent is like going back to the same dentist who pulled the wrong tooth the last time.

Voting for an incumbent is like going back inside the Port-A-Potti that was out of toilet paper last time you were there.

Voting for an incumbent is like re-marrying your former spouse even though s/he cheated on you the last time around.

Voting for an incumbent is like getting in a plane with a pilot who crashed his aircraft last time s/he went up.

Voting for the incumbent might mean that you need a change in your medications.

Voting for the incumbent is like taking your computer back to the same repair shop, even though last time they told you that your computer needed a lube and an oil change.

Voting for an incumbent is a vote for “staying the course”.

Voting for the incumbent means that you believe that things can never get any better. Is that what you believe?

I’m not suggesting that if the incumbent is a Democrat that you vote for a Republican. Or vice versa. We all know that if we do that, nothing really changes. Vote Green. Or vote Libertarian. Or vote Peace & Freedom, or American Independent. Vote anything but Democrat or Republican. Until we are willing to step outside the norms, and take a chance on electing someone else, we will continue to be held in the clutches of the two-party stranglehold that is American politics today. And nothing will change.

Voting for the incumbent signals the end of all hope for change.

Please, you need to get out more. It’s not fair that this poor girl is laboring under a misapprehension.

^{We now return you to our regular program.}

I’m serious. Please take the time to read this. Then forward it to your Congresssional representatives.

changing this goal to spread the peanut butter.

^{damn, I’m hungry!}

this.

is Segsy. Not Seggy.

^{or so I’m told}