Untitled — 1 year ago
I didn’t really do this. It was more of an intense crush combined with a wish to not be alone. This will have to go back on my list, when there’s room.
I didn’t really do this. It was more of an intense crush combined with a wish to not be alone. This will have to go back on my list, when there’s room.
Does he love me back?
This came up in my annual musings, so I feel that I should be working towards this, but the bottom line is that I’m really not sure how.
It won’t happen when I leasy expect it. I’m too shy for it to work that way.
I guess my goal for January is just to make eye contact and be friendly with the men I meet. Especially the ones who are single. Especially specially the one I just was rambling about. And cross my fingers that one of them will be attracted enough to me to let it show.
And the truth is that this is very important to me. There is someone I’ve felt very attracted to for a few years. I have told myself that I shouldn’t allow myself to feel this way about him because he was married when I met him and I’m friends with his ex. So whenever I’ve seen him I’ve worn big sweaters and tried to avoid eye contact. I’m not sure if he feels the same way about me. I’m afraid that I have pushed him away.
For now, anyway.
The “I give up” button is looking extremely attractive. You never find it until you stop looking, right?
But not enough to make me jump for joy. I don’t want to jinx it by saying anything about it or even thinking about it too much, but I know for a fact that this one isn’t married or gay.
And that’s all I have to say about that right now.
Okay, so the school year is over and it is unlikely I will see him again until next fall. I am disappointed.
Why did I want to do this again?