Love my work

I am still loving my work. It seriously has me jumping out of bed at 5 am so that I can get to it – and believe me, sleeping is, or was, one of my very favorite things to do that is right up there with snowboarding, in my books.

So I’m surprised and happy I guess – but of course, it’s not good times all the time. But I am learning so much, and I’m motivated to learn so much more and I am feeding my curiosity, my desire to learn, and my analytical skills everyday.

The downside is this: I really dislike the people I work with – as in – loath and despise. I think my advisor is an arrogant nitwit, and pendant, an preener and a ninny.

Well, it’s all part of it. I really want to work with people I love, also – or at least respect, but in my books, that generally cashes out as the same thing…

I can’t say how important it is to have work you love – and I’m not talking about a mystic calling, just work that engages you on some level, that’s satisfying, that keeps you interested. I think I wasted a lot time trying to find my “purpose” – when the reality is, a person will naturally gravitate toward their aptitudes and interests, if they give themselves the space and time to do so. My work makes me feel smart and capable – which is a positive corrective to the past.

Today, I will love my work by treating it with the respect that it deserves – through the whole process of it, and including the boring and tedious bits; by not complaining about it, or resenting it – but really appreciating the opportunities it gives me to learn and grow and think.

Still loving my work, the process of it anyway, if not it’s “product” which has yet to materialize in any determinate, concrete way…although that will be very difficult a few days from now…

I am absolutely loving my work at the moment – really into it, really grateful for it. Hopefully this will stream into some form of gainful employment, at some point. I do really love working with ideas, and I think I’m pretty good at it too, but I need to figure out how to organize my files. I realized this week, I actually like to be able to see what I’m working on. I like stuff to be visible; if feels (and in fact is) more accessible. Once something goes into a file, it stays there – and what’s the point of that? I wish I had all my ideas and reasearch topics visible at the same time. Maybe I need to get a big post-it wall, like tv writers have, as I’ve oberved in magazines. I don’t have a lot of wall space, but this is a priority, now that I think of it. I can make beautiful. I can make it work. I want it to be inspiring. I always tell myself I want to be “organized” and yet – what I want is to be happy and productive. So I may need to invent my own system here.

I’m getting back into really enjoying my work again, looking forward to getting to my desk in the morning, and feeling my mind work creatively and productively, trusting and appreciating the ideas as they come to me. But I have a long way to go with this…