So I finally got up the courage to send my father an email and confront him about the manner in which he left when he walked out on my mother and how he didn’t make an effort to preserve his relationships with his kids. I’ve never told him before how I felt or what it did to me.
I hoped he would respond sympathetically and, at the very least, admit that he had done things wrong with us. Instead, his reply was full of defenses and excuses. He blamed my mom for everything (including my current feelings which, for the record, are entirely MY OWN) He writes as though I have “seen the light” and finally want a relationship when in fact I am trying to get closure on the questions that have bothered me for years. He really, honestly did not seem to see my point of view or how badly hurt I was. He thinks we’re ready to be father and son again, just like that. He doesn’t understand how serious this is or how far I am from that point. I realised how delusional and out-of-touch he must be to think that one email will heal 12 years of neglect!
I still want to reply, but feel overwhelmed by the number of points I need to set him straight on. I am also completely demotivated by the thought that this could degenerate into backwards and forwards nitpicking. I have decided to wait a couple of days before replying so I can work out what is most important, for me personally, to pursue.
