i don’t want to argue, yell or fight with anyone
there is a lot of surpressed feeling in this house
door slamming, muttering and all my life i have shut all my feelings inside somewhere i feel heavy, sad, unloved
there is nowhere to go so every weekend i just sit on the couch and watch tv my only hope is to sell my house, making everyone leave and find a place at the lake for me and my dogs
so i am waiting again for the future to make my happy but the solutions should be ‘what can i do today to uplift me?’
i am so tired of just existing, not reacting or trying to not react
eating not because i’m hungry but because i’m bored
sleeping because i’m bored, afraid to try anything
and now i am too fat to go the gym, my gym clothes don’t fit
all excuses i know
