figure out what i want to do

so here is where my brain is on this… i am 22 i am going to have a baby in oct (that i still am not sure i am going to adopt of not) i would love to be able to work something out so that i can keep it… but back to where i was going… i haven’t started a career and i was thinking about going back to school. In order to go to school, since i am still paying on my previous loan, i can’t and won’t take another student loan. So unless i can get a grant or someother funding i won’t be able to go. In order to apply for a grant i need to get in contact with the financial aid office of a school/community college. In order to do that i need to pick a college and a course of study that i am so baffled about. so whats the major malfunction you ask? well, for starters i would really like to own a business based around what i create and sell and/or a family business (mom is really itching to flip houses and i would LOVE that) BUT own a business cost alot of time and money just to build it up to a point where you are well enough known that you make more money than you put out.
So i need money, an empty savings and about a 20$ checking is not going to start a business. and no i won’t take a business loan either. But the more i think about this the more i see a need (with the way the economy is going) to have something to fall back on, to be in a position where i can get a good enough paying 9-5 job to survive and not a dead end job either a job with benefits.

so i am stuck in limbo with ok so what do i want to do. because there is no job i feel passionatly about, i worked with kids for a long time and i could do that but it’s not something i really desire. there are so many jobs i can do and would probebly like doing but there isn’t one that i feel strongly about and thats my problem. i can’t pick my poison.

i’m pretty sure i know now what i want to do.. but i just don’t know how to call it, what i should go to school for or how to get there.

because of where i’ve been, where i am now and i see how hard it is to be here. if i were anyless independant and didn’t have the bit of help my sister offered i might not have gotten this far. it can be overwhelming and daunting and to someone more scared than me with no one at all to help even a little abortion seems real fast and easy. and that sucks. what sucks more is that how losely the term is used amoung highschool and college age kids. like it’s takeing some asprin for a headache. i could say so much more on the subject but i’ll save it.
I want to be someone who that scared girl/woman can come to and i can guide them through the process. when making appoinments and talking to people at te health dept. if you don’t know just want you need or at least what to ask for you get the run around to no end. I will even pick them up and take them to appointments i will be there any time they need… but how do i get there? is there even a name for a job like that because i haven’t found anything like that at all. Maybe i can start it all myself?