so many good wishes and a team who is taking me out next week for lunch. The kicker is the Big Boss…or Bi**h you could say. She stood there her fat ass and fake smile and never even acknowledged it. This is after declining the invite to the lunch and declining the budget for it. 20 year Bi$ch and so help me GOD if you say anything to me about it after…I will tell you where to blow it! Because I have 20 years now and you can go ahead and fire me! hahah and pay me off!
hhannah has written 17 entries about this goal
its constant construction, less staircases, entrances or exits and connections to move yourself from point A to point B. In my case the Train to the subway each morning is a humiliating herding of commuters. Each day some new pathway is blocked off and now they are blocking the up and down stairways in the subway to try to improve the flow of pedestrians which they are failing badly to do. You cannot move tens of thousands of people through less space each day and not expect rage. I couldn’t take it anymore. The Toronto Transit Commission workers pushing me to go one way…where there was no more room to even attempt going down the stairs and onto the platform…People were already backed up. I darted for the staircase they were guarding. No one was coming up it…and O bounded down the stairs. Just in time to reach the train coming in. I don’t mean to break your stupid rules…I just cant live with them. So Fuck you very much Toronto Transit Commission and the GO you have done a terrible job on a daily basis making me late, cramming in too many people overselling your seats, hearding me like I’m on way to slaughter (so I feel like I’m heading to death and not work each day) YOu are the reason I hate my job…its you it the commute!!!! SOOOO A BIG I DONT GIVE A FU*K to you. Yes this is a Canadian rant!
I may have put in a total of 2 hours? If that? I just needed a sanity day. After working through Christmas, ice storms, power out for 72 hours then the snow storm and -41 temps. I had had enough of the long bad commutes one day it took me over 3 1/2 hours to get to work…Worn out I said I am home warm and proceeded to bake, read and enjoy this one day and not give a F**K about work or the commute.
I guess not…its about the person, moment and time. So sometimes you just have to live crazy and go with his idea. I cant say anymore…you can just imagine. : )
for the rest of the summer weekends…and possibly some
work days I am adapting to this easy mentality. Hair still looked awesome…and I was more relaxed. Another way to just not give a F! is to go with the flow – forget everyone elses agenda this weekend and did what I wanted – J wanted me to hang out…but I was actually having more fun with M so I just stayed and said who gives a F! gotta do what I want sometimes plus my son was enjoying the time spent me and M.
but had a golf shirt to put on over top. The man I went with..you could tell he was worried when I he saw me with the big penguin on the front of my t-shirt. He had that OH NO!!! look on his face…. that I thought I could actually wear it! ha of course he says ” um…you can’t wear that”....REALLY? You don’t think I know that…it was a test to see if you would be worried and say something to me.
I know its dangerous but I have some place to get to. Is this the way to go? How can I carve out what I need in life without some risks? Who will be there at the end of this scissor running marathon this past few years what is the end goal. Who am I kidding today just not give a F**K about it and remember my own advice that the journey is the destination even if Im feeling unsure about love and life.
now that ive got your attention…this isnt something ive wanted to do but when it came down to either putting back on the underwear from my workout or none at all…(forgot to bring another) I decided none at all was the best way to go. It actually was okay…at home maybe but at work i was hesitant. but after all who gives a f**k!
it was a snakes nest…you know when you sleep on it wet and it goes into this dreadlock snake like thing on your head…like youve been on survivor for 39 days? THats all it takes for my hair is to sleep on it wet. TOday when I woke up late…there was no time to start straightening…so I had to rock the snaked out look – managed to pull back into a ponytail and felt a little scruffy all day but rocked it as much as I could and of course say WTF! who cares about my hair, I dont get paid to impress them with it – as long as Im thier and my brain is functioning the hair can be overlooked! ha!
let it go…grabbed the kids and it passed. His negative sneer towards me, unless he wants something…then hes my best friend. Whatever I dont give a F**K…he can be as bitchy as he wants to be I wont let it get to me. Its really is that simple…I dont care about his mood and tuning myself towards it or reacting towards it. I can be oblivious and happy.
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