Be kinder

I’m meeting Mom for drinks tonight (it’s funny how this goal seems to always be in relation to her) because I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to talk and it feels like I only call her to ask her to watch the furbs anymore. I don’t THINK that’s the case, but if it feels like that I need to heed it. Anyhow, this will be a good opportunity to catch up, hear what’s going on with her. It’s funny and sick that kindness comes so much easier for me with strangers. Ugh. I wish I didn’t write that but I’m not deleting it.

I apologized to Mom and followed up with an apology email (lame, I know), and she was totally fine, forgiving and understanding. Still, I think I’m going to keep this goal as a reminder that I still have a ways to go.

This occurs naturally, I find, as I get older and learn to be a good friend to myself. But yesterday I saw the ceiling when I saw that I am still a petulant 14 year old with Mom. This is what guilt feels like, Self. Remember how shitty it is, and perhaps don’t ruin the Super Bowl next year.