be more courageous

Usually, I shy away from having to speak in front of our staff; however, I feel strongly that I need to in this situation. So, I’m putting aside my public speaking fears and doing what needs to be done.

I’ve made a decision to quit my job at the end of this year. I have had a couple of ‘freak out’ moments since making that decision. Even though I’ve probably had more moments of calm or relief, I still find my mind drifting to the things I will be giving up.

A little voice tells me I’m crazy to just let go of my income without a plan in place, and I go off on an imaginary speech with myself, my counselor, my friends about why I’ve changed my mind. Both moments this happened, I felt like I got a sign, or a nudge back in the other direction. Back toward my decision.

The first time, I googled “What should I do with my life” and found an article by Po Bronson, who wrote a book with the same title all about people who changed careers and found their true passions for life in the process, or followed their bliss. The article made me cry and inspired me once again to believe in my decision to change my life drastically. I also bought the book to read.

The second time was today. I happened to turn on Oprah in the midst of all this and the topic was “Are you truly happy?” They highlighted a woman who was the youngest female bank president on Wall Street. She made loads of money, but felt that in the 9 years (same amount of time I’ve been teaching) she worked on Wall Street she felt like someone impersonating a Wall Street Banker. She never felt at home, successful at her job, but never full in her spirit. She gave it up, and she took a 90% pay cut within the first year. What did she become? A trapeze artist!

My ‘freak out’ happened because I was thinking about salary (teachers don’t make much, but I do have my Masters and make a decent salary now), and as I looked at jobs I might take within that first year out, I figured I’d probably have to take a 50% pay cut. This will take courage and creativity, but it will not be impossible. The trapeze artist did it!