Figure out your opinions and identity. Then assert them. Stop being willing to be whoever others want you to be.
This was a significant issue for me for many years. I was too willing to sacrifice my dreams, goals, personal boundaries, and opinions in order to fit in/ please others.
I stayed in a job I that made me miserable for too long out of the desire to be of “service to others.” I gained a lot of professional skills and contacts but it came at a great cost. After that job, I felt very traumatized, lost, and usure of who I really was.
I also tried to be a more traditional woman to the guys I dated when I’m really very driven, independent, competitive, radical, and intellectual.
Sometimes I still struggle with what my next career should be. A part of me still wants to please my parents by picking something they would like that would make a lot of money, instead of picking something that would make me happy and fulfilled.
I’m also troubled by how my natural curiosity makes it difficult to figure out what I want to focus my life on. I have so many interests that it can be distracting and disperse my energy and attention. If I want to make a significant contribution, I have to pick something and be committed.