be HOPEFUL again

It’s. Never. Enough. :\

“The world gives to you what you give to the world.”

What utter crap. That’s how I feel about that right now. I think I’ve always been a good, loyal friend, yet I have none.

Things have just been pretty terrible lately. I put a halt on my studies so I could go abroad and feel like I was doing something more meaningful with my life than writing a ridiculous research paper and I immediately got a bunch of negative comments about it from my family. From everyone. My Aunt (whom I don’t even see or talk to very often) called me a quitter and then proceeded to think I was “mad” because I left the room in a rush right after she said that. I wasn’t mad. I was upset, she made me cry. No one ever understands my motives/reasoning behind the things I do and they don’t even sit down and listen (even if they initiate the conversation); they just judge and assume things. Everyone has made me feel like a failure/an idiot for my decision and now I actually do feel like one :\. Really, I wish I was invisible. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even want to tell anyone at all about my ideas because I’ll just be castrated.

And I’m starting to care a lot less because of it and I don’t like that. I don’t know. :\ At times, I just wish that I had at least one person in my life that supported me, or that I could relate to.