Okay, well, this is a step in the right direction, I think, but it’s not exactly the most comfortable one.
I’ve definitely recently started looking at the way I’ve treated people in the past and the way I’ve been treating people recently and have found myself lacking. It’s not a pleasant feeling to really examine your conscience and find that you would probably not remain friends with yourself, you know? But it’s definitely a step on the road to getting to a place of peace with my past and how I look at things.
I can’t change what I’ve done to others, how I’ve treated them. I can make apologies and right some wrongs, but there are people that I will probably never see again, and hurts so old they’re better left unsalted, so to speak. What I can do is attempt to gather my wits and patience about me and step into new relationships with the eye of an active observer. I can try to not step into the same traps, the same foibles. I can stop myself from jerking that old, bitter knee.
This is the part that takes a lot of work, but it is an important point to admit to the faults you’ve discovered about yourself. Problems, once admitted, stare at you in their corners like really creepy Madonnas, you know? It’s better to address them and ship them off to the Museum of Antiquated Habits where they can start gathering cosmic dust rather then have to continually address them and their unblinking, really creepy gazes.
So, yeah. I’m not a perfect person, and I’ve got to work on getting… if not closer to perfection, then at least farther away from ‘rotten SOB’.
