practice Franklin's 13 virtues

So I completely forgot about Sincerity. And Justice. I think my problem was not having a big word printed somewhere I could see it to make sure I was following the whole thing. That’s about to change! I’m going to post the virtue of the week on our outside door to our suite. Maybe others will join in…?

This week it’s MODERATION: Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

I think I’m doing a decent job on that so far. I had a run-in with a friend of mine last Friday that was less than charitable (basically, I have been a hormonal bitch the past couple days). Today, I tried to remedy that, and I think I succeeded in starting the healing process, for myself and for the friend.

Recently, I’ve noticed myself making an almost unconscious effort to be nicer to people. I’m asking about others’ days, asking follow-up questions, and avoiding talking about myself. I’m still trying to act on catching myself complaining (I recognize it, but I’m not doing very much about it), and working on improving relations with my suitemates, which deteriorated last semester.

I think I’m making progress on my resent and bitterness in positive ways, but also measuring out just the right amount of withdrawn caution when dealing with those who have injured me in the past. I’m trying not to blow things out of proportion, but it’s important to protect myself from perceivably dangerous people, you know? After all, people who would do those things aren’t worth my time. Equally, if I do those things, I’m not worth anyone else’s time.

I tend to overreact, so I’m waiting to say things. I bite my tongue more than I ever have before. As a result, I have less to say, but I think it’s a good thing. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone by always sharing my opinion, especially when it’s negative. There’s nothing to be gained from negativity. I guess that’s incorporating silence, huh?

My roommate was recently trying to share some gossip with me, and I declined. She’s a suspicious person who snoops through my things and we’ve bashed heads about it in the past, so I’ve taken a passive approach to it, letting the previous conflicts and her stressed moods wash away. I don’t want to re-hash arguments, exasperate relations or anything. She’s angry with the world for having lost someone precious to her. I’ve been angry before; I know what it’s like to need someone at whom to direct said anger. If it’s me, that’s fine, because it’s not really affecting me anymore. It’s unfortunate that I’m her person, but at the same time I don’t consider it a heavy blow. She’s stressed and wants to control things. The easiest way to deal with that is to take away the satisfaction of a reaction, you know? Lock up sensitive items, acquiesce to the reasonable requests and clamly refuse the unreasonable. Keep organized and on top of activities. Pie.

Anyway, this is getting long, so I’ll cut to the grand ending: Yay for pattern recognition! And, ultimately, /breaking the habit./

Okay, well. Industry didn’t work out so well past the first day of that last week, but I suppose I can do the Ben Franklin thing and recap and re-group. (Good stuff, that ‘re’ prefix.)

Anyway, the recap: the bottom line is that I fel tbetter when I was Getting Shit Done. Not that I got a lot of shit done this week, but when I was accomplishing something, I felt better about myself. I also inadvertently learned that when I put off taking care of myself, I’m less inclined to follow through with anything and everything I need to get done. It’s an important self-realization and one I intend to be better about taking care of in the future.

My re-group will proceed with SINCERITY: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly. With my family constantly in-fighting and what with me returning to university within the week, keeping this in mind will help the shaky public relations situation in which I find myself. Hopefully keeping myself constantly employed in some useful action will diminish my need to stand around and fulfill that feminine urge to speak without thinking, but keeping this in the back of my mind will prevent me from speaking extemperaneously, which is only useful in speech competitions.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve been working on these, but coincidentally, the virtue that I probably need to work on the most at the moment is the one that’s next.

INDUSTRY: Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

I’ve got an entire room’s worth of things accumulated since middle school to sort through for end purposes of either charity or posterity. It’s a huge task and I only have two weeks to get through it, so a huge push this week with help from old man Ben would be really beneficial. Okay! So, here we go.

Last week’s Resolution was amazing. I totally spent my time studying for the two tests I had that week and walked away from both with confidence. Yes, my time with friends was truncated, but it was also very enjoyable for what it was. The most important thing about it was that I was able to feel like I had accomplished something. I knew I had done well, which is a great, great feeling.

Tomorrow, we begin FRUGALITY: make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

Don’t waste free time when there’s homework and life-work to be done! Don’t waste good conversations on petty gossip! Instead of eating unhealthy food, take your snacking time to eat things that are good for your body! Never miss out on an opportunity to do something nice for someone else!

Trying RESOLUTION for this week…

Okay, so, I might have sucked at Temperance a little bit. But just a little! The important thing is that each time I caught myself having something extra, I noticed. That’s probably not up to Franklin’s standards of excellence, but I think that’s improvement; instead of blindly reaching for the Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked frozen yogurt, I at least acknowledged the culinary sin.

Heh. Um. I’ll do better next time. And this week as well.

Next up, SILENCE: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Cutting down on the petty gossip! Increase the heartfelt compliments and witty, objective observations! My you look lovely today, and off we go!

So, we’re not here to discuss how amazingly cool Benjamin Franklin was (self evident!), we’re here to discuss the Virtues. Or, the V1rtu3s, because wouldn’t it be funny if they… nevermind.

What I mean to say is that I checked back up on my homey B-dog, and I was so supremely impressed with all of his accomplishments all over again that I figured it would probably be a good thing to start taking some advice from one of the most brilliant, innovative and accomplished persons who ever lived. Hence, I now enter a state of attempted virtuosity. Heck yes.

Step One: TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Here goes!